The Project Gutenberg eBook of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by By Lewis Carroll. (2025)

Project Gutenberg's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis CarrollThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.orgTitle: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Illustrated by Arthur Rackham. With a Proem by Austin DobsonAuthor: Lewis CarrollIllustrator: Arthur RackhamRelease Date: May 19, 2009 [EBook #28885][Last updated: October 29, 2020]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ISO-8859-1*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND ***Produced by Jana Srna, Emmy and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by theUniversity of Florida Digital Collections.)

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Printed in England

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CONTENTS

PAGE I. Down the Rabbit-hole 1 II. The Pool of Tears 13 III. A Caucus-race and a Long Tale 24 IV. The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill 35 V. Advice from a Caterpillar 49 VI. Pig and Pepper 64 VII. A Mad Tea-party 82 VIII. The Queen's Croquet-ground 96 IX. The Mock Turtle's Story 111 X. The Lobster Quadrille 126 XI. Who Stole the Tarts? 139 XII. Alice's Evidence 150

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LIST OF THE PLATES

[1]

CHAPTER I

Down theRabbit-Hole

LICE was beginning to get verytired of sitting by her sister onthe bank, and of having nothingto do: once or twice she hadpeeped into the book her sister was reading,but it had no pictures or conversations init, "and what is the use of a book," thoughtAlice, "without pictures or conversations?"

So she was considering in her own mind(as well as she could, for the hot day madeher feel very sleepy and stupid) whether thepleasure of making a daisy-chain would beworth the trouble of getting up and pickingthe daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbitwith pink eyes ran close by her.

There was nothing so very remarkable inthat; nor did Alice think it so very much outof the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Ohdear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!" (when[2]she thought it over afterwards, it occurredto her that she ought to have wondered atthis, but at the time it all seemed quitenatural); but when the Rabbit actually tooka watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, andlooked at it, and then hurried on, Alicestarted to her feet, for it flashed across hermind that she had never before seen a rabbitwith either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch totake out of it, and burning with curiosity,she ran across the field after it, and was justin time to see it pop down a large rabbit-holeunder the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice afterit, never once considering how in the worldshe was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like atunnel for some way, and then dippedsuddenly down, so suddenly that Alice hadnot a moment to think about stopping herselfbefore she found herself falling down whatseemed to be a very deep well.

Down, down, down. Would the fall nevercome to an end? "I wonder how many milesI've fallen by this time?" she said aloud. "Imust be getting somewhere near the centre ofthe earth. Let me see: that would be fourthousand miles down. I think—" (for, yousee, Alice had learnt several things of thissort in her lessons in the schoolroom, andthough this was not a very good opportunityfor showing off her knowledge, as there wasno one to listen to her, still it was good practiceto say it over) "—yes, that's about theright distance—but then I wonder what Latitudeor Longitude I've got to?" (Alice hadno idea what Latitude was, or Longitudeeither, but thought they were nice grandwords to say.)[5]

Presently she began again. "I wonder ifI shall fall right through the earth! Howfunny it'll seem to come out among the peoplethat walk with their heads downwards! TheAntipathies, I think—" (she was rather gladthere was no one listening, this time, as itdidn't sound at all the right word) "—butI shall have to ask them what the name of thecountry is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is thisNew Zealand or Australia?" (and she tried tocurtsey as she spoke—fancy curtseying asyou're falling through the air! Do you thinkyou could manage it?) "And what an ignorantlittle girl she'll think me! No, it'llnever do to ask: perhaps I shall see it writtenup somewhere."

Down, down, down. There was nothingelse to do, so Alice soon began talking again."Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, Ishould think!" (Dinah was the cat.) "Ihope they'll remember her saucer of milk attea-time. Dinah, my dear, I wish you weredown here with me! There are no mice inthe air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat,and that's very like a mouse, you know. Butdo cats eat bats, I wonder?" And here Alice[6]began to get rather sleepy, and went on sayingto herself, in a dreamy sort of way, "Do catseat bats? Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes,"Do bats eat cats?" for, you see, as shecouldn't answer either question, it didn'tmuch matter which way she put it. She feltthat she was dozing off, and had just begunto dream that she was walking hand in handwith Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly,"Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you evereat a bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump!down she came upon a heap of sticks and dryleaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumpedup on to her feet in a moment: she lookedup, but it was all dark overhead; before herwas another long passage, and the WhiteRabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it.There was not a moment to be lost: awaywent Alice like the wind, and was just in timeto hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh myears and whiskers, how late it's getting!" Shewas close behind it when she turned the corner,but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: shefound herself in a long, low hall, which was litup by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.[7]

There were doors all round the hall, butthey were all locked; and when Alice had beenall the way down one side and up the other,trying every door, she walked sadly down themiddle, wondering how she was ever to getout again.

Suddenly she came upon a little three-leggedtable, all made of solid glass; therewas nothing on it but a tiny golden key, andAlice's first idea was that this might belongto one of the doors of the hall; but, alas!either the locks were too large, or the key wastoo small, but at any rate it would not openany of them. However, on the second timeround, she came upon a low curtain she hadnot noticed before, and behind it was a littledoor about fifteen inches high: she tried thelittle golden key in the lock, and to her greatdelight it fitted!

Alice opened the door and found that it ledinto a small passage, not much larger than arat-hole: she knelt down and looked alongthe passage into the loveliest garden you eversaw. How she longed to get out of that darkhall, and wander about among those beds ofbright flowers and those cool fountains, but[8]she could not even get her head through thedoorway; even if my head would gothrough," thought poor Alice, "it would be ofvery little use without my shoulders. Oh,how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!I think I could, if I only knew how to begin."For, you see, so many out-of-the-way thingshad happened lately, that Alice had begun tothink that very few things indeed were reallyimpossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting bythe little door, so she went back to the table,half hoping she might find another key on it,or at any rate a book of rules for shuttingpeople up like telescopes: this time she founda little bottle on it ("which certainly was nothere before," said Alice,) and tied round theneck of the bottle was a paper label, with thewords "DRINK ME" beautifully printedon it in large letters.

It was all very well to say "Drink me,"but the wise little Alice was not going to dothat in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," shesaid, "and see whether it's marked 'poison'or not;" for she had read several nice littlestories about children who had got burnt,[9]and eaten up by wild beasts, and otherunpleasant things, all because they wouldnot remember the simple rules their friendshad taught them: such as, that a red-hotpoker will burn you if you hold it toolong; and that, if you cut your finger verydeeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; andshe had never forgotten that, if you drinkmuch from a bottle marked "poison," it isalmost certain to disagree with you, sooneror later.

However, this bottle was not marked"poison," so Alice ventured to taste it, andfinding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort ofmixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pineapple,roast turkey, coffee, and hot butteredtoast,) she very soon finished it off.

"What a curious feeling!" said Alice."I must be shutting up like a telescope."

And so it was indeed: she was now onlyten inches high, and her face brightened upat the thought that she was now the rightsize for going through that little door intothat lovely garden. First, however, she[10]waited for a few minutes to see if she wasgoing to shrink any further: she felt a littlenervous about this: "for it might end, youknow," said Alice to herself, "in my goingout altogether, like a candle. I wonder whatI should be like then?" And she tried tofancy what the flame of a candle looks likeafter the candle is blown out, for she couldnot remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing morehappened, she decided on going into thegarden at once; but, alas for poor Alice!when she got to the door, she found she hadforgotten the little golden key, and whenshe went back to the table for it, she foundshe could not possibly reach it: she couldsee it quite plainly through the glass, andshe tried her best to climb up one of the legsof the table, but it was too slippery; and whenshe had tired herself out with trying, thepoor little thing sat down and cried.

"Come, there's no use in crying like that!"said Alice to herself, rather sharply. "I adviseyou to leave off this minute!" She generallygave herself very good advice (though shevery seldom followed it), and sometimes she[11]scolded herself so severely as to bring tearsinto her eyes; and once she rememberedtrying to box her own ears for having cheatedherself in a game of croquet she was playingagainst herself, for this curious child was veryfond of pretending to be two people. "Butit's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretendto be two people! Why there's hardlyenough of me left to make one respectableperson!"

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box thatwas lying under the table: she opened it, andfound in it a very small cake, on which thewords "EAT ME" were beautifully markedin currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said Alice,"and if it makes me grow larger, I can reachthe key; and if it makes me grow smaller, Ican creep under the door; so either way I'llget into the garden, and I don't care whichhappens!"

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously toherself, "Which way? Which way?" holdingher hand on the top of her head to feel whichway it was growing, and she was quite surprisedto find that she remained the same size;to be sure, this is what generally happens[12]when one eats cake, but Alice had got somuch into the way of expecting nothing butout-of-the-way things to happen, that itseemed quite dull and stupid for life to go onin the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finishedoff the cake.

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CHAPTER II

Pool ofTears

URIOUSER and curiouser!"cried Alice (she was so much surprised,that for a moment shequite forgot how to speak goodEnglish); "now I'm opening out like thelargest telescope that ever was! Good-bye,feet!" (for when she looked down at her feet,they seemed to be almost out of sight, theywere getting so far off). "Oh, my poor littlefeet, I wonder who will put on your shoesand stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure Isha'n't be able! I shall be a great deal toofar off to trouble myself about you: you mustmanage the best way you can—but I mustbe kind to them," thought Alice, "or perhapsthey won't walk the way I want to go! Letme see: I'll give them a new pair of bootsevery Christmas."

And she went on planning to herself how[14]she would manage it. "They must go by thecarrier," she thought; "and how funny it'llseem, sending presents to one's own feet!And how odd the directions will look!

Alice's Right Foot, Esq.
Hearthrug,
near the Fender,
(with Alice's love).

Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!"

Just then her head struck against the roofof the hall: in fact she was now rather morethan nine feet high, and she at once took upthe little golden key and hurried off to thegarden door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she coulddo, lying down on one side, to look throughinto the garden with one eye; but to getthrough was more hopeless than ever: shesat down and began to cry again.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself,"said Alice, "a great girl like you" (she mightwell say this), "to go on crying in this way!Stop this moment, I tell you!" But she wenton all the same, shedding gallons of tears,until there was a large pool all round her,[15]about four inchesdeep and reachinghalf down the hall.

Curiouser and Curiouser

After a time sheheard a little patteringof feet in thedistance, and shehastily dried her eyesto see what wascoming. It was theWhite Rabbit returning,splendidlydressed, with a pairof white kid glovesin one hand and alarge fan in theother: he came trottingalong in a greathurry, muttering tohimself as he came,"Oh! the Duchess,the Duchess! Oh!won't she be savageif I've kept her waiting!"Alice felt sodesperate that she was ready to ask help of[16]any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her,she began, in a low, timid voice, "If youplease, sir——" The Rabbit started violently,dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, andscurried away into the darkness as hard as hecould go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, asthe hall was very hot, she kept fanning herselfall the time she went on talking! "Dear,dear! How queer everything is to-day!And yesterday things went on just as usual.I wonder if I've been changed during thenight? Let me think: was I the same whenI got up this morning? I almost think I canremember feeling a little different. But ifI'm not the same, the next question is, whoin the world am I? Ah, that's the greatpuzzle!" And she began thinking over allthe children she knew that were of the sameage as herself, to see if she could have beenchanged for any of them.

"I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, "forher hair goes in such long ringlets, and minedoesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure Ican't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things,and she, oh! she knows such a very little![17]Besides, she's she, and I'm I, and—oh dear,how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know allthe things I used to know. Let me see: fourtimes five is twelve, and four times six isthirteen, and four times seven is—oh dear! Ishall never get to twenty at that rate! However,the Multiplication Table doesn't signify:let's try Geography. London is the capitalof Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,and Rome—no, that's all wrong, I'm certain!I must have been changed for Mabel! I'lltry and say 'How doth the little——'" andshe crossed her hands on her lap as if shewere saying lessons, and began to repeat it,but her voice sounded hoarse and strange,and the words did not come the same as theyused to do:—

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"I'm sure those are not the right words,"said poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tearsagain as she went on. "I must be Mabel,after all, and I shall have to go and live inthat poky little house, and have next to notoys to play with, and oh! ever so manylessons to learn! No, I've made up my mindabout it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here!It'll be no use their putting their heads downand saying, 'Come up again, dear!' I shallonly look up and say, 'Who am I then? Tellme that first, and then, if I like being thatperson, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay downhere till I'm somebody else'—but, oh dear!"cried Alice with a sudden burst of tears, "Ido wish they would put their heads down! Iam so very tired of being all alone here!"

As she said this she looked down at herhands, and was surprised to see that she hadput on one of the Rabbit's little white kidgloves while she was talking. "How canI have done that?" she thought. "I mustbe growing small again." She got up andwent to the table to measure herself by it,and found that, as nearly as she could guess,she was now about two feet high, and was[19]going on shrinking rapidly: she soon foundout that the cause of this was the fan she washolding, and she dropped it hastily, just intime to avoid shrinking away altogether.

"That was a narrow escape!" said Alice,a good deal frightened at the sudden change,but very glad to find herself still in existence;"and now for the garden!" and she ran withall speed back to the little door: but alas!the little door was shut again, and the littlegolden key was lying on the glass table asbefore, "and things are worse than ever,"thought the poor child, "for I never was sosmall as this before, never! And I declare it'stoo bad, that it is!"

As she said these words her foot slipped,and in another moment, splash! she was upto her chin in salt water. Her first idea wasthat she had somehow fallen into the sea,"and in that case I can go back by railway,"she said to herself. (Alice had been to theseaside once in her life, and had come to thegeneral conclusion, that wherever you go toon the English coast you find a number ofbathing machines in the sea, some childrendigging in the sand with wooden spades, then[20]a row of lodging houses, and behind them arailway station.) However, she soon madeout that she was in the pool of tears whichshe had wept when she was nine feet high.

"I wish I hadn't cried so much!" saidAlice, as she swam about, trying to find herway out. "I shall be punished for it now, Isuppose, by being drowned in my own tears!That will be a queer thing, to be sure!However, everything is queer to-day."

Just then she heard something splashingabout in the pool a little way off, and sheswam nearer to make out what it was: atfirst she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus,but then she remembered howsmall she was now, and she soon made outthat it was only a mouse that had slipped inlike herself.

"Would it be of any use now," thoughtAlice, "to speak to this mouse? Everythingis so out-of-the-way down here, that I shouldthink very likely it can talk: at any rate,there's no harm in trying." So she began:"O Mouse, do you know the way out of thispool? I am very tired of swimming abouthere, O Mouse!" (Alice thought this must[21]be the right way of speaking to a mouse;she had never done such a thing before, butshe remembered having seen in her brother'sLatin Grammar, "A mouse—of a mouse—toa mouse—a mouse—O mouse!") The Mouselooked at her rather inquisitively, and seemedto her to wink with one of its little eyes, butit said nothing.

"Perhaps it doesn't understand English,"thought Alice; "I daresay it's a French mouse,come over with William the Conqueror."(For, with all her knowledge of history, Alicehad no very clear notion how long ago anythinghad happened.) So she began again:"Où est ma chatte?" which was the firstsentence in her French lesson-book. TheMouse gave a sudden leap out of the water,and seemed to quiver all over with fright."Oh, I beg your pardon!" cried Alice hastily,afraid that she had hurt the poor animal'sfeelings. "I quite forgot you didn't like cats."

"Not like cats!" cried the Mouse, in ashrill, passionate voice. "Would you likecats if you were me?"

"Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a soothingtone: "don't be angry about it. And yet[22]I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: Ithink you'd take a fancy to cats if you couldonly see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,"Alice went on, half to herself, as she swamlazily about in the pool, "and she sits purringso nicely by the fire, licking her paws andwashing her face—and she is such a nice softthing to nurse—and she's such a capital onefor catching mice——oh, I beg your pardon!"cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse wasbristling all over, and she felt certain it mustbe really offended. "We won't talk abouther any more if you'd rather not."

"We, indeed!" cried the Mouse, who wastrembling down to the end of his tail. "Asif I would talk on such a subject! Our familyalways hated cats: nasty, low, vulgar things!Don't let me hear the name again!"

The Pool of Tears

"I won't indeed!" said Alice, in a greathurry to change the subject of conversation."Are you—are you fond—of—of dogs?"The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went oneagerly: "There is such a nice little dog nearour house I should like to show you! Alittle bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh,such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch[23]things when you throw them, and it'll sit upand beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things—Ican't remember half of them—and itbelongs to a farmer, you know, and he saysit's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!He says it kills all the rats and—oh dear!"cried Alice in a sorrowful tone, "I'm afraidI've offended it again!" For the Mouse wasswimming away from her as hard as it couldgo, and making quite a commotion in thepool as it went.

So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear!Do come back again, and we won't talk aboutcats or dogs either, if you don't like them!"

When the Mouse heard this, it turned roundand swam slowly back to her: its face was quitepale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said ina low trembling voice, "Let us get to the shore,and then I'll tell you my history, and you'llunderstand why it is I hate cats and dogs."

It was high time to go, for the pool wasgetting quite crowded with the birds andanimals that had fallen into it: there were aDuck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, andseveral other curious creatures. Alice led theway, and the whole party swam to the shore.

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CHAPTER III

A Caucus-raceand aLong Tale

HEY were indeed a queer-lookingparty that assembled on the bank—thebirds with draggled feathers,the animals with their fur clingingclose to them, and all dripping wet, cross,and uncomfortable.

The first question of course was, how toget dry again: they had a consultation aboutthis, and after a few minutes it seemed quitenatural to Alice to find herself talkingfamiliarly with them, as if she had knownthem all her life. Indeed, she had quite along argument with the Lory, who at lastturned sulky, and would only say, "I amolder than you, and must know better;" andthis Alice would not allow without knowinghow old it was, and, as the Lory positivelyrefused to tell its age, there was no more tobe said.[25]

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be aperson of authority among them, called out"Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'llsoon make you dry enough!" They all satdown at once, in a large ring, with theMouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyesanxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure shewould catch a bad cold if she did not get dryvery soon.

"Ahem!" said the Mouse with an importantair. "Are you all ready? This isthe driest thing I know. Silence all round,if you please! 'William the Conqueror,whose cause was favoured by the pope, wassoon submitted to by the English, whowanted leaders, and had been of late muchaccustomed to usurpation and conquest.Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia andNorthumbria—'"

"Ugh!" said the Lory, with a shiver.

"I beg your pardon!" said the Mouse,frowning, but very politely. "Did youspeak?"

"Not I!" said the Lory hastily.

"I thought you did," said the Mouse,"—I proceed. 'Edwin and Morcar, the[26]earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared forhim: and even Stigand, the patriotic Archbishopof Canterbury, found it advisable—'"

"Found what?" said the Duck.

"Found it," the Mouse replied rathercrossly: "of course you know what 'it'means."

"I know what 'it' means well enough,when I find a thing," said the Duck; "it'sgenerally a frog or a worm. The questionis, what did the archbishop find?"

The Mouse did not notice this question,but hurriedly went on, "'—found it advisableto go with Edgar Atheling to meetWilliam and offer him the crown. William'sconduct at first was moderate. But the insolenceof his Normans—' How are yougetting on now, my dear?" it continued,turning to Alice as it spoke.

"As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholytone; "doesn't seem to dry me at all."

"In that case," said the Dodo solemnly,rising to its feet, "I move that the meetingadjourn, for the immediate adoption of moreenergetic remedies——"

"Speak English!" said the Eaglet. "I[27]don't know the meaning of half those longwords, and, what's more, I don't believe youdo either!" And the Eaglet bent down itshead to hide a smile: some of the other birdstittered audibly.

"What I was going to say," said theDodo in an offended tone, "was that thebest thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race."

"What is a Caucus-race?" said Alice; notthat she much wanted to know, but the Dodohad paused as if it thought that somebodyought to speak, and no one else seemedinclined to say anything.

"Why," said the Dodo, "the best wayto explain it is to do it." (And, as you mightlike to try the thing yourself some winterday, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sortof circle, ("the exact shape doesn't matter,"it said,) and then all the party were placedalong the course, here and there. There wasno "One, two, three, and away," but theybegan running when they liked, and leftoff when they liked, so that it was not easyto know when the race was over. However,[28]when they had been running half an hour orso, and were quite dry again, the Dodosuddenly called "The race is over!" andthey all crowded round it, panting, and asking"But who has won?"

This question the Dodo could not answerwithout a great deal of thought, and it stoodfor a long time with one finger pressed uponits forehead (the position in which youusually see Shakespeare, in the pictures ofhim), while the rest waited in silence. Atlast the Dodo said "Everybody has won, andall must have prizes."

"But who is to give the prizes?" quitea chorus of voices asked.

"Why, she, of course," said the Dodo,pointing to Alice with one finger; and thewhole party at once crowded round her,calling out in a confused way, "Prizes!Prizes!"

Alice had no idea what to do, and indespair she put her hand in her pocket, andpulled out a box of comfits (luckily the saltwater had not got into it), and handed themround as prizes. There was exactly one apieceall round.

They all crowded round it panting and asking,"But who has won?"

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"But she must have a prize herself, youknow," said the Mouse.

"Of course," the Dodo replied verygravely.

"What else have you got in your pocket?"it went on, turning to Alice.

"Only a thimble," said Alice sadly.

"Hand it over here," said the Dodo.

Then they all crowded round her oncemore, while the Dodo solemnly presented thethimble, saying "We beg your acceptanceof this elegant thimble;" and, when ithad finished this short speech, they allcheered.

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd,but they all looked so grave that she did notdare to laugh; and, as she could not thinkof anything to say, she simply bowed, andtook the thimble, looking as solemn as shecould.

The next thing was to eat the comfits; thiscaused some noise and confusion, as thelarge birds complained that they could nottaste theirs, and the small ones choked andhad to be patted on the back. However, itwas over at last, and they sat down again in[30]a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell themsomething more.

"You promised to tell me your history,you know," said Alice, "and why it is youhate—C and D," she added in a whisper, halfafraid that it would be offended again.

"Mine is a long and sad tale!" said theMouse, turning to Alice and sighing.

"It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice,looking down with wonder at the Mouse'stail; "but why do you call it sad?" Andshe kept on puzzling about it while theMouse was speaking, so that her idea ofthe tale was something like this:[31]—

"Fury said to
a mouse, That
he met in the
house, 'Let
us both go
to law: I
will prose-
cute you.—
Come, I'll
take no de-
nial: We
must have
the trial;
For really
this morn-
ing I've
nothing
to do.'
Said the
mouse to
the cur,
'Such a
trial, dear
sir, With
no jury
or judge,
would
be wast-
ing our
breath.'
'I'll be
judge,
I'll be
jury,'
said
cun-
ning
old
Fury:
'I'll
try
the
whole
cause,
and
con-
demn
you to
death.'

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"You are not attending!" said the Mouseto Alice severely. "What are you thinkingof?"

"I beg your pardon," said Alice veryhumbly: "you had got to the fifth bend,I think?"

"I had not!" cried the Mouse, angrily.

"A knot!" said Alice, always ready tomake herself useful, and looking anxiouslyabout her. "Oh, do let me help to undoit!"

"I shall do nothing of the sort," said theMouse, getting up and walking away. "Youinsult me by talking such nonsense!"

"I didn't mean it!" pleaded poor Alice."But you're so easily offended, you know!"

The Mouse only growled in reply.

"Please come back and finish your story!"Alice called after it. And the others all joinedin chorus, "Yes, please do!" but the Mouseonly shook its head impatiently and walkeda little quicker.

"What a pity it wouldn't stay!" sighedthe Lory, as soon as it was quite out ofsight; and an old Crab took the opportunityof saying to her daughter, "Ah, my dear![33]Let this be a lesson to you never to loseyour temper!"

"Hold your tongue, Ma!"said the young Crab, a little snappishly."You're enough to try the patience of anoyster!"

"I wish I had our Dinah here, I know Ido!" said Alice aloud, addressing nobody inparticular. "She'd soon fetch it back!"

"And who is Dinah, if I might venture toask the question?" said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was alwaysready to talk about her pet: "Dinah's ourcat. And such a capital one for catchingmice, you ca'n't think! And oh, I wish youcould see her after the birds! Why, she'lleat a little bird as soon as look at it!"

This speech caused a remarkable sensationamong the party. Some of the birds hurriedoff at once; one old Magpie began wrappingitself up very carefully, remarking "I reallymust be getting home; the night-air doesn'tsuit my throat!" and a Canary called out ina trembling voice to its children "Comeaway, my dears! It's high time you were allin bed!" On various pretexts they all movedoff, and Alice was soon left alone.[34]

"I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!" shesaid to herself in a melancholy tone. "Nobodyseems to like her, down here, and I'msure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, mydear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see youany more!" And here poor Alice began tocry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.In a little while, however, she againheard a little pattering of footsteps in thedistance, and she looked up eagerly, halfhoping that the Mouse had changed his mind,and was coming back to finish his story.

[35]

CHAPTER IV

The Rabbitsends in aLittle Bill

T was the White Rabbit, trottingslowly back again, and lookinganxiously about as it went, as if ithad lost something; and she heardit muttering to itself, "The Duchess! TheDuchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur andwhiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure asferrets are ferrets! Where can I have droppedthem, I wonder?" Alice guessed in a momentthat it was looking for the fan and the pair ofwhite kid gloves, and she very good-naturedlybegan hunting about for them, but they werenowhere to be seen—everything seemed tohave changed since her swim in the pool, andthe great hall, with the glass table and thelittle door, had vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as shewent hunting about, and called out to her inan angry tone, "Why, Mary Ann, what[36]are you doing out here? Run home thismoment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and afan! Quick, now!" And Alice was so muchfrightened that she ran off at once in thedirection it pointed to, without trying toexplain the mistake it had made.

"He took me for his housemaid," she saidto herself as she ran. "How surprised he'llbe when he finds out who I am! But I'dbetter take him his fan and gloves—that is,if I can find them." As she said this, shecame upon a neat little house, on the door ofwhich was a bright brass plate with the name"W. RABBIT" engraved upon it. Shewent in without knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet thereal Mary Ann, and be turned out of thehouse before she had found the fan andgloves.

"Why, Mary Ann, what are you doing out here?"

"How queer it seems," Alice said to herself,"to be doing messages for a rabbit! Isuppose Dinah'll be sending me on messagesnext!" And she began fancying the sort ofthing that would happen: "'Miss Alice!Come here directly, and get ready for yourwalk!' 'Coming in a minute, nurse! But[37]I've got to watch this mouse-hole till Dinahcomes back, and see that the mouse doesn'tget out.' Only I don't think," Alice went on,"that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if itbegan ordering people about like that!"

By this time she had found her way into atidy little room with a table in the window,and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and twoor three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: shetook up the fan and a pair of the gloves, andwas just going to leave the room, when hereye fell upon a little bottle that stood nearthe looking-glass. There was no label thistime with the words "DRINK ME," butnevertheless she uncorked it and put it to herlips. "I know something interesting is sureto happen," she said to herself, "whenever Ieat or drink anything; so I'll just see whatthis bottle does. I do hope it will make megrow large again, for really I'm tired ofbeing such a tiny little thing!"

It did so indeed, and much sooner thanshe had expected: before she had drunk halfthe bottle, she found her head pressing againstthe ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neckfrom being broken. She hastily put down[38]the bottle, saying to herself "That's quiteenough—I hope I sha'n't grow any more—Asit is, I can't get out at the door—I dowish I hadn't drunk quite so much!"

Alas! it was too late to wish that! Shewent on growing, and growing, and very soonhad to kneel down on the floor: in anotherminute there was not even room for this, andshe tried the effect of lying down with oneelbow against the door, and the other armcurled round her head. Still she went ongrowing, and, as a last resource, she put onearm out of the window, and one foot up thechimney, and said to herself "Now I can dono more, whatever happens. What willbecome of me?"

Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottlehad now had its full effect, and she grew nolarger: still it was very uncomfortable, and,as there seemed to be no sort of chance ofher ever getting out of the room again, nowonder she felt unhappy.

"It was much pleasanter at home," thoughtpoor Alice, "when one wasn't always growinglarger and smaller, and being ordered about bymice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone[39]down that rabbit-hole—and yet—and yet—it'srather curious, you know, this sort of life!I do wonder what can have happened to me!When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied thatkind of thing never happened, and now hereI am in the middle of one! There ought tobe a book written about me, that there ought!And when I grow up, I'll write one—but I'mgrown up now," she added in a sorrowfultone; "at least there's no room to grow upany more here."

"But then," thought Alice, "shall I neverget any older than I am now? That'll be acomfort, one way—never to be an old woman—butthen—always to have lessons to learn!Oh, I shouldn't like that!"

"Oh, you foolish Alice!" she answeredherself. "How can you learn lessons inhere? Why, there's hardly room for you,and no room at all for any lesson-books!"

And so she went on, taking first one sideand then the other, and making quite a conversationof it altogether; but after a fewminutes she heard a voice outside, andstopped to listen.

"Mary Ann! Mary Ann!" said the voice.[40]"Fetch me my gloves this moment!" Thencame a little pattering of feet on the stairs.Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to lookfor her, and she trembled till she shook thehouse, quite forgetting that she was nowabout a thousand times as large as the Rabbit,and had no reason to be afraid of it.

Presently the Rabbit came up to the door,and tried to open it; but, as the door openedinwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hardagainst it, that attempt proved a failure.Alice heard it say to itself "Then I'll goround and get in at the window."

"That you won't" thought Alice, and,after waiting till she fancied she heard theRabbit just under the window, she suddenlyspread out her hand, and made a snatch inthe air. She did not get hold of anything,but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and acrash of broken glass, from which she concludedthat it was just possible it had falleninto a cucumber-frame, or something of thesort.

Next came an angry voice—the Rabbit's—"Pat!Pat! Where are you?" And thena voice she had never heard before, "Sure[41]then I'm here! Digging for apples, yerhonour!"

"Digging for apples, indeed!" said theRabbit angrily. "Here! Come and helpme out of this!" (Sounds of more brokenglass.)

"Now tell me, Pat, what's that in thewindow?"

"Sure, it's an arm, yer " (Hepronounced it "arrum.")

"An arm, you goose! Who ever saw onethat size? Why, it fills the whole window!"

"Sure, it does, yer honour? but it's anarm for all that."

"Well, it's got no business there, at anyrate: go and take it away!"

There was a long silence after this, andAlice could only hear whispers now and then;such as, "Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, atall, at all!" "Do as I tell you, you coward!"and at last she spread out her hand again,and made another snatch in the air. Thistime there were two little shrieks, and moresounds of broken glass. "What a numberof cucumber-frames there must be!" thoughtAlice. "I wonder what they'll do next! As[42]for pulling me out of the window, I only wishthey could! I'm sure I don't to stayin here any longer!"

She waited for some time without hearinganything more: at last came a rumbling oflittle cart-wheels, and the sound of a goodmany voices all talking together: she madeout the words: "Where's the other ladder?—WhyI hadn't to bring but one; Bill's gotthe other—Bill! Fetch it here, lad!—Here,put 'em up at this corner—No, tie 'em togetherfirst—they don't reach half high enoughyet—Oh! they'll do well enough; don't beparticular—Here, Bill! catch hold of thisrope—Will the roof bear?—Mind that looseslate—Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!"(a loud crash)—"Now, who did that?—It wasBill, I fancy—Who's to go down the chimney?—Nay,I sha'n't! You do it!—That Iwon't, then! Bill's to go down—Here, Bill!the master says you've to go down thechimney!"

"Oh! So Bill's got to come down thechimney, has he?" said Alice to herself."Why, they seem to put everything uponBill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good[43]deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure;but I think I can kick a little!"

She drew her foot as far down the chimneyas she could, and waited till she heard a littleanimal (she couldn't guess of what sort itwas) scratching and scrambling about in thechimney close above her: then, saying to herself"This is Bill," she gave one sharp kick,and waited to see what would happen next.

The first thing she heard was a generalchorus of "There goes Bill!" then the Rabbit'svoice alone—"Catch him, you by thehedge!" then silence, and then another confusionof voices—"Hold up his head—Brandynow—Don't choke him—How wasit, old fellow? What happened to you? Tellus all about it!"

At last came a little feeble, squeakingvoice, ("That's Bill," thought Alice,) "Well,I hardly know—No more, thank ye; I'mbetter now—but I'm a deal too flustered totell you—all I know is, something comes atme like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes likea sky-rocket!"

"So you did, old fellow!" said the others.

"We must burn the house down!" said[44]the Rabbit's voice. And Alice called out asloud as she could, "If you do, I'll set Dinahat you!"

There was a dead silence instantly, andAlice thought to herself "I wonder whatthey will do next! If they had any sense,they'd take the roof off." After a minute ortwo they began moving about again, andAlice heard the Rabbit say "A barrowfulwill do, to begin with."

"A barrowful of what?" thought Alice.But she had not long to doubt, for the nextmoment a shower of little pebbles camerattling in at the window, and some of themhit her in the face. "I'll put a stop to this,"she said to herself, and shouted out "You'dbetter not do that again!" which producedanother dead silence.

Alice noticed with some surprise that thepebbles were all turning into little cakes asthey lay on the floor, and a bright idea cameinto her head. "If I eat one of thesecakes," she thought, "it's sure to make somechange in my size; and, as it can't possiblymake me larger, it must make me smaller, Isuppose."[45]

So she swallowed one of the cakes, and wasdelighted to find that she began shrinkingdirectly. As soon as she was small enoughto get through the door, she ran out of thehouse, and found quite a crowd of little animalsand birds waiting outside. The poorlittle Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, beingheld up by two guinea-pigs, who were givingit something out of a bottle. They all madea rush at Alice the moment she appeared; butshe ran off as hard as she could, and soonfound herself safe in a thick wood.

"The first thing I've got to do," said Aliceto herself, as she wandered about in the wood,"is to grow to my right size again; and thesecond thing is to find my way into that lovelygarden. I think that will be the best plan."

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, andvery neatly and simply arranged; the onlydifficulty was, that she had not the smallestidea how to set about it; and, while she waspeering about anxiously among the trees, alittle sharp bark just over her head made herlook up in a great hurry.

An enormous puppy was looking down ather with large round eyes, and feebly stretching[46]out one paw, trying to touch her. "Poorlittle thing!" said Alice, in a coaxing tone,and she tried hard to whistle to it; but shewas terribly frightened all the time at thethought that it might be hungry, in whichcase it would be very likely to eat her up inspite of all her coaxing.

Hardly knowing what she did, she pickedup a little bit of stick, and held it out to thepuppy; whereupon the puppy jumped intothe air off all its feet at once, with a yelp ofdelight, and rushed at the stick, and madebelieve to worry it; then Alice dodged behinda great thistle, to keep herself from being runover; and, the moment she appeared on theother side, the puppy made another rush atthe stick, and tumbled head over heels in itshurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinkingit was very like having a game of play with acart-horse, and expecting every moment to betrampled under its feet, ran round the thistleagain; then the puppy began a series of shortcharges at the stick, running a little way forwardseach time and a long way back, andbarking hoarsely all the while, till at last itsat down a good way off, panting, with its[47]tongue hanging out of its mouth, and itsgreat eyes half shut.

This seemed to Alice a good opportunityfor making her escape; so she set off at once,and ran till she was quite tired and out ofbreath, and till the puppy's bark soundedquite faint in the distance.

"And yet what a dear little puppy it was!"said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup torest herself, and fanned herself with one ofthe leaves. "I should have liked teaching ittricks very much, if—if I'd only been the rightsize to do it! Oh, dear! I'd nearly forgottenthat I've got to grow up again! Let me see—howis it to be managed? I suppose Iought to eat or drink something or other; butthe great question is, what?"

The great question certainly was, what?Alice looked all round her at the flowers andthe blades of grass, but she could not see anythingthat looked like the right thing to eator drink under the circumstances. There wasa large mushroom growing near her, about thesame height as herself; and, when she hadlooked under it, and on both sides of it, andbehind it, it occurred to her that she might[48]as well look and see what was on the topof it.

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, andpeeped over the edge of the mushroom, andher eyes immediately met those of a largeblue caterpillar, that was sitting on the topwith its arms folded, quietly smoking a longhookah, and taking not the smallest notice ofher or of anything else.

[49]

CHAPTER V

Advicefrom aCaterpillar

HE Caterpillar and Alice lookedat each other for some time insilence: at last the Caterpillar tookthe hookah out of its mouth, andaddressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for aconversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "Ihardly know, sir, just at present—at least Iknow who I was when I got up this morning,but I think I must have been changed severaltimes since then."

"What do you mean by that?" said theCaterpillar sternly. "Explain yourself!"

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir,"said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see."

"I don't see," said the Caterpillar.

"I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,"Alice replied very politely, "for I can't understand[50]it myself to begin with; and being somany different sizes in a day is very confusing."

"It isn't," said the Caterpillar.

"Well, perhaps you haven't found it soyet," said Alice, "but when you have to turninto a chrysalis—you will some day, youknow—and then after that into a butterfly, Ishould think you'll feel it a little queer, won'tyou?"

"Not a bit," said the Caterpillar.

"Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,"said Alice; "all I know is, it wouldfeel very queer to me."

"You!" said the Caterpillar contemptuously."Who are you?"

Which brought them back again to the beginningof the conversation. Alice felt a littleirritated at the Caterpillar's making such veryshort remarks, and she drew herself up andsaid, very gravely, "I think you ought to tellme who you are, first."

"Why?" said the Caterpillar.

Advice from a Caterpillar

Here was another puzzling question; andas Alice could not think of any good reason,and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a[51]very unpleasant state of mind, she turnedaway.

"Come back!" the Caterpillar called afterher. "I've something important to say!"

This sounded promising, certainly: Aliceturned and came back again.

"Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar.

"Is that all?" said Alice, swallowing downher anger as well as she could.

"No," said the Caterpillar.

Alice thought she might as well wait, asshe had nothing else to do, and perhaps afterall it might tell her something worth hearing.For some minutes it puffed away withoutspeaking, but at last it unfolded its arms,took the hookah out of its mouth again, andsaid, "So you think you're changed, doyou?"

"I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; "I can'tremember things as I used—and I don't keepthe same size for ten minutes together!"

"Can't remember what things?" said theCaterpillar.

"Well, I've tried to say 'How doth thelittle busy bee,' but it all came different!"Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.[52]

"Repeat 'You are old, Father William,'"said the Caterpillar.

Alice folded her hands, and began:—

"That is not said right," said the Caterpillar.

"Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice,[54]timidly; "some of the words have gotaltered."

"It is wrong from beginning to end," saidthe Caterpillar, decidedly, and there was silencefor some minutes.

The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

"What size do you want to be?" it asked.

"Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alicehastily replied; "only one doesn't like changingso often, you know."

"I don't know," said the Caterpillar.

Alice said nothing: she had never been somuch contradicted in all her life before, andshe felt that she was losing her temper.

"Are you content now?" said the Caterpillar.

"Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir,if you wouldn't mind," said Alice: "threeinches is such a wretched height to be."

"It is a very good height indeed!" saidthe Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself uprightas it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

"But I'm not used to it!" pleaded poorAlice in a piteous tone. And she thought toherself, "I wish the creatures wouldn't be soeasily offended!"[55]

"You'll get used to it in time," said theCaterpillar; and it put its hookah into itsmouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until itchose to speak again. In a minute or twothe Caterpillar took the hookah out of itsmouth and yawned once or twice, and shookitself. Then it got down off the mushroom,and crawled away into the grass, merely remarkingas it went, "One side will make yougrow taller, and the other side will make yougrow shorter."

"One side of what? The other side ofwhat?" thought Alice to herself.

"Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar,just as if she had asked it aloud; and inanother moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at themushroom for a minute, trying to make outwhich were the two sides of it; and as it wasperfectly round, she found this a very difficultquestion. However, at last she stretchedher arms round it as far as they would go,and broke off a bit of the edge with eachhand.

"And now which is which?" she said to[56]herself, and nibbled a little of the right-handbit to try the effect: the next moment she felta violent blow underneath her chin: it hadstruck her foot!

She was a good deal frightened by this verysudden change, but she felt that there was notime to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly;so she set to work at once to eat some of theother bit. Her chin was pressed so closelyagainst her foot that there was hardly roomto open her mouth; but she did it at last, andmanaged to swallow a morsel of the left-handbit.

[57]

"Come, my head's free at last!" said Alicein a tone of delight, which changed into alarmin another moment, when she found that hershoulders were nowhere to be found: all shecould see, when she looked down, was animmense length of neck, which seemed to riselike a stalk out of a sea of green leaves thatlay far below her.

"What can all that green stuff be?" saidAlice. "And where have my shoulders gotto? And oh, my poor hands, how is it Ica'n't see you?" She was moving them aboutas she spoke, but no result seemed to follow,except a little shaking among the distantgreen leaves.

As there seemed to be no chance of gettingher hands up to her head, she tried to get herhead down to them, and was delighted to findthat her neck would bend about easily in anydirection, like a serpent. She had just succeededin curving it down into a gracefulzigzag, and was going to dive in among theleaves, which she found to be nothing butthe tops of the trees under which shehad been wandering, when a sharp hissmade her draw back in a hurry: a large[58]pigeon had flown into her face, and wasbeating her violently with its wings.

"Serpent!" screamed the Pigeon.

"I'm not a serpent!" said Alice indignantly."Let me alone!"

"Serpent, I say again!" repeated thePigeon, but in a more subdued tone, andadded with a kind of a sob, "I've tried everyway, and nothing seems to suit them!"

"I haven't the least idea what you'retalking about," said Alice.

"I've tried the roots of trees, and I'vetried banks, and I've tried hedges," the Pigeonwent on, without attending to her; "but thoseserpents! There's no pleasing them!"

Alice was more and more puzzled, but shethought there was no use in saying anythingmore till the Pigeon had finished.

"As if it wasn't trouble enough hatchingthe eggs," said the Pigeon; "but I must beon the look-out for serpents night and day!Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep thesethree weeks!"

"I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,"said Alice, who was beginning to see itsmeaning.[59]

[61]

"And just as I'd taken the highest tree inthe wood," continued the Pigeon, raising itsvoice to a shriek, "and just as I was thinkingI should be free of them at last, they mustneeds come wriggling down from the sky!Ugh, Serpent!"

"But I'm not a serpent, I tell you!" saidAlice. "I'm a—— I'm a ——"

"Well! What are you?" said the Pigeon."I can see you're trying to invent something!"

"I—I'm a little girl," said Alice, ratherdoubtfully, as she remembered the number ofchanges she had gone through that day.

"A likely story indeed!" said the Pigeonin a tone of the deepest contempt. "I'veseen a good many little girls in my time, butnever one with such a neck as that! No, no!You're a serpent; and there's no use denyingit. I suppose you'll be telling me next thatyou never tasted an egg!"

"I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice,who was a very truthful child; "but littlegirls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do,you know."

"I don't believe it," said the Pigeon; "but[62]if they do, why then they're a kind of serpent,that's all I can say."

This was such a new idea to Alice, thatshe was quite silent for a minute or two,which gave the Pigeon the opportunity ofadding, "You're looking for eggs, I knowthat well enough; and what does it matterto me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?"

"It matters a good deal to me," said Alicehastily; "but I'm not looking for eggs, as ithappens; and if I was, I shouldn't wantyours: I don't like them raw."

"Well, be off, then!" said the Pigeon in asulky tone, as it settled down again into itsnest. Alice crouched down among the treesas well as she could, for her neck kept gettingentangled among the branches, and everynow and then she had to stop and untwist it.After a while she remembered that she stillheld the pieces of mushroom in her hands,and she set to work very carefully, nibblingfirst at one and then at the other, and growingsometimes taller and sometimes shorter,until she had succeeded in bringing herselfdown to her usual height.[63]

It was so long since she had been anythingnear the right size, that it felt quite strangeat first; but she got used to it in a fewminutes, and began talking to herself, asusual. "Come, there's half my plan donenow! How puzzling all these changes are!I'm never sure what I'm going to be, fromone minute to another! However, I've gotback to my right size: the next thing is, toget into that beautiful garden—how is thatto be done, I wonder?" As she said this,she came suddenly upon an open place, witha little house in it about four feet high."Whoever lives there," thought Alice, "it'llnever do to come upon them this size: why,I should frighten them out of their wits!"So she began nibbling at the right-handbit again, and did not venture to go near thehouse till she had brought herself down tonine inches high.

[64]

CHAPTER VI

Pig andPepper

OR a minute or two she stood lookingat the house, and wonderingwhat to do next, when suddenly afootman in livery came runningout of the wood—(she considered him to be afootman because he was in livery: otherwise,judging by his face only, she would havecalled him a fish)—and rapped loudly at thedoor with his knuckles. It was opened byanother footman in livery, with a round faceand large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curledall over their heads. She felt very curiousto know what it was all about, and crept alittle way out of the wood to listen.

The Fish-Footman began by producingfrom under his arm a great letter, nearlyas large as himself, and this he handed overto the other, saying, in a solemn tone, "For[65]the Duchess. An invitation from the Queento play croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated,in the same solemn tone, onlychanging the order of the words a little,"From the Queen. An invitation for theDuchess to play croquet."

Then they both bowed low, and their curlsgot entangled together.

Alice laughed so much at this, that shehad to run back into the wood for fear oftheir hearing her; and, when she nextpeeped out, the Fish-Footman was gone,and the other was sitting on the ground nearthe door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

Alice went timidly up to the door andknocked.

"There's no use in knocking," said theFootman, "and that for two reasons. First,because I'm on the same side of the door asyou are; secondly, because they're makingsuch a noise inside, no one could possiblyhear you." And certainly there was a mostextraordinary noise going on within—a constanthowling and sneezing, and every nowand then a great crash, as if a dish or kettlehad been broken to pieces.[66]

"Please, then," said Alice, "how am I toget in?"

"There might be some sense in your knocking,"the Footman went on without attendingto her, "if we had the door between us. Forinstance, if you were inside, you might knock,and I could let you out, you know." He waslooking up into the sky all the time he wasspeaking, and this Alice thought decidedlyuncivil. "But perhaps he can't help it," shesaid to herself: "his eyes are so very nearlyat the top of his head. But at any rate hemight answer questions. How am I to getin?" she repeated aloud.

"I shall sit here," the Footman remarked,"till to-morrow——

At this moment the door of the houseopened, and a large plate came skimmingout, straight at the Footman's head: it justgrazed his nose, and broke to pieces againstone of the trees behind him.

"——or next day, maybe," the Footmancontinued in the same tone, exactly as ifnothing had happened.

"How am I to get in?" asked Alice againin a louder tone.[67]

"Are you to get in at all?" said the Footman."That's the first question, you know."

It was, no doubt: only Alice did notlike to be told so. "It's really dreadful,"she muttered to herself, "the way all the[68]creatures argue. It's enough to drive onecrazy!"

The Footman seemed to consider this agood opportunity for repeating his remark,with variations. "I shall sit here," he said,"on and off, for days and days."

"But what am I to do?" said Alice.

"Anything you like," said the Footman,and began whistling.

"Oh, there's no use in talking to him,"said Alice desperately: "he's perfectlyidiotic!" And she opened the door andwent in.

The door led right into a large kitchen,which was full of smoke from one end to theother: the Duchess was sitting on a three-leggedstool in the middle, nursing a baby,the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring alarge cauldron which seemed to be full ofsoup.

"There's certainly too much pepper in thatsoup!" Alice said to herself, as well as shecould for sneezing.

There was certainly too much of it in theair. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally;and the baby was sneezing and howling alternately[69]without a moment's pause. The onlythings in the kitchen that did not sneeze, werethe cook, and a large cat which was sitting onthe hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

"Please would you tell me," said Alice alittle timidly, for she was not quite surewhether it was good manners for her to speakfirst, "why your cat grins like that?"

"It's a Cheshire said the Duchess,"and that's why. Pig!"

She said the last word with such suddenviolence that Alice quite jumped; but she sawin another moment that it was addressed tothe baby, and not to her, so she took courage,and went on again:

"I didn't know that Cheshire cats alwaysgrinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats couldgrin."

"They all can," said the Duchess; "andmost of 'em do."

"I don't know of any that do," Alice saidvery politely, feeling quite pleased to have gotinto a conversation.

"You don't know much," said the Duchess;"and that's a fact."

Alice did not at all like the tone of this[70]remark, and thought it would be as well tointroduce some other subject of conversation.While she was trying to fix on one, the cooktook the cauldron of soup off the fire, and atonce set to work throwing everything withinher reach at the Duchess and the baby—thefire-irons came first; then followed a showerof saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchesstook no notice of them even when they hither; and the baby was howling so muchalready, that it was quite impossible to saywhether the blows hurt it or not.

"Oh, please mind what you're doing!"cried Alice, jumping up and down in anagony of terror. "Oh, there goes his preciousnose"; as an unusually large saucepan flewclose by it, and very nearly carried it off.

"If everybody minded their own business,"the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, "theworld would go round a deal faster than itdoes."

An unusually large saucepan flew close by it, andvery nearly carried it off

"Which would not be an advantage," saidAlice, who felt very glad to get an opportunityof showing off a little of her knowledge."Just think what work it would make withthe day and night! You see the earth takes[71]twenty-four hours to turn round on itsaxis——"

"Talking of axes," said the Duchess, "chopoff her head."

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook,to see if she meant to take the hint; but thecook was busily engaged in stirring the soup,and did not seem to be listening, so she venturedto go on again: "Twenty-four hours, Ithink; or is it twelve? I——"

"Oh, don't bother me," said the Duchess;"I never could abide figures!" And with thatshe began nursing her child again, singinga sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and givingit a violent shake at the end of every line:

"Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases."

While the Duchess sang the second verse ofthe song, she kept tossing the baby violently[72]up and down, and the poor little thing howledso, that Alice could hardly hear the words:

"I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes;
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!"

"Here! you may nurse it a bit if you like!"the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the babyat her as she spoke. "I must go and getready to play croquet with the Queen," andshe hurried out of the room. The cook threwa frying-pan after her as she went out, but itjust missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty,as it was a queer-shaped little creature, andheld out its arms and legs in all directions,"just like a star-fish," thought Alice. Thepoor little thing was snorting like a steam-enginewhen she caught it, and kept doublingitself up and straightening itself out again, sothat altogether, for the first minute or two, itwas as much as she could do to hold it.[73]

As soon as she had made out the properway of nursing it, (which was to twist it upinto a knot, and then keep tight hold of itsright ear and left foot, so as to prevent itsundoing itself,) she carried it out into theopen air. "If I don't take this child awaywith me," thought Alice, "they're sure to killit in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder toleave it behind?" She said the last wordsout loud, and the little thing grunted in reply(it had left off sneezing by this time). "Don'tgrunt," said Alice; "that's not at all a properway of expressing yourself."

The baby grunted again, and Alice lookedvery anxiously into its face to see what wasthe matter with it. There could be no doubtthat it had a very turn-up nose, much morelike a snout than a real nose; also its eyeswere getting extremely small for a baby: altogetherAlice did not like the look of the thingat all. "But perhaps it was only sobbing,"she thought, and looked into its eyes again,to see if there were any tears.

No, there were no tears. "If you're goingto turn into a pig, my dear," said Alice,seriously, "I'll have nothing more to do[74]with you. Mind now!" The poor littlething sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossibleto say which), and they went onfor some while in silence.

Alice was just beginning to think to herself,"Now, what am I to do with thiscreature when I get it home?" when itgrunted again, so violently, that she lookeddown into its face in some alarm. This timethere could be no mistake about it: it wasneither more nor less than a pig, and she feltthat it would be quite absurd for her to carryit any further.

So she set the little creature down, andfelt quite relieved to see it trot quietly awayinto the wood. "If it had grown up," shesaid to herself, "it would have made a dreadfullyugly child: but it makes rather a handsomepig, I think." And she began thinkingover other children she knew, who mightdo very well as pigs, and was just saying toherself, "if one only knew the right way tochange them——" when she was a little startledby seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a boughof a tree a few yards off.

It grunted again so violently that she looked downinto its face in some alarm

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.[75]It looked good-natured, she thought: still ithad very long claws and a great many teeth,so she felt that it ought to be treated withrespect.

"Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly,as she did not at all know whether it wouldlike the name: however, it only grinned a littlewider. "Come, it's pleased so far," thoughtAlice, and she went on. "Would you tell me,please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where youwant to get to," said the Cat.[76]

"I don't much care where——" said Alice.

"Then it doesn't matter which way yougo," said the Cat.

"—— so long as I get somewhere," Aliceadded as an explanation.

"Oh, you're sure to do that," said theCat, "if you only walk long enough."

Alice felt that this could not be denied,so she tried another question. "What sort ofpeople live about here?"

"In that direction," the Cat said, wavingits right paw round, "lives a Hatter: andin that direction," waving the other paw,"lives a March Hare. Visit either you like:they're both mad."

"But I don't want to go among madpeople," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you ca'n't help that," said the Cat:"we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

"How do you know I'm mad?" saidAlice.

"You must be," said the Cat, "or youwouldn't have come here."

Alice didn't think that proved it at all;however, she went on. "And how do youknow that you're mad?"[77]

"To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog'snot mad. You grant that?"

"I suppose so," said Alice.

"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you seea dog growls when it's angry, and wags itstail when it's pleased. Now I growl whenI'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry.Therefore I'm mad."

"I call it purring, not growling," saidAlice.

"Call it what you like," said the Cat."Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?"

"I should like it very much," said Alice,"but I haven't been invited yet."

"You'll see me there," said the Cat andvanished.

Alice was not much surprised at this, shewas getting so used to queer things happening.While she was looking at the placewhere it had been, it suddenly appearedagain.

"By-the-bye, what became of the baby?"said the Cat. "I'd nearly forgotten to ask."

"It turned into a pig," Alice quietly said,just as if it had come back in a natural way.[78]

"I thought it would," said the Cat, andvanished again.

Alice waited a little, half expecting to seeit again, but it did not appear, and after aminute or two she walked on in the directionin which the March Hare was said to live."I've seen hatters before," she said to herself;"the March Hare will be much the mostinteresting, and perhaps as this is May, itwon't be raving mad—at least not so mad asit was in March." As she said this, shelooked up, and there was the Cat again,sitting on the branch of a tree.

"Did you say pig, or fig?" said the Cat.

"I said pig," replied Alice; "and I wishyou wouldn't keep appearing and vanishingso suddenly: you make one quite giddy."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time itvanished quite slowly, beginning with theend of the tail, and ending with the grin,which remained some time after the rest of ithad gone.

"Well! I've often seen a cat without agrin," thought Alice; "but a grin without acat! It's the most curious thing I ever sawin all my life."[79]

[81]

She had not gone much farther before shecame in sight of the house of the MarchHare: she thought it must be the right house,because the chimneys were shaped like earsand the roof was thatched with fur. It wasso large a house, that she did not like to gonearer till she had nibbled some more of theleft-hand bit of mushroom, and raised herself,to about two feet high: even then she walkedup towards it rather timidly, saying to herself,"Suppose it should be raving mad after all!I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatterinstead!"

[82]

CHAPTER VII

A MadTea-party

HERE was a table set out undera tree in front of the house, andthe March Hare and the Hatterwere having tea at it: a Dormousewas sitting between them, fast asleep, andthe other two were using it as a cushionresting their elbows on it, and talking overits head. "Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,"thought Alice; "only as it's asleep,suppose it doesn't mind."

The table was a large one, but the threewere all crowded together at one corner of it."No room! No room!" they cried out whenthey saw Alice coming.

"There's plenty ofroom!" said Alice indignantly, and she satdown in a large arm-chair at one end of thetable.

"Have some wine," the March Hare saidin an encouraging tone.[83]

Alice looked all round the table, but therewas nothing on it but tea. "I don't see anywine," she remarked.

"There isn't any," said the March Hare.

"Then it wasn't very civil of you to offerit," said Alice angrily.

"It wasn't very civil of you to sit downwithout being invited," said the March Hare.

"I didn't know it was your table," saidAlice; "it's laid for a great many more thanthree."

"Your hair wants cutting," said the Hatter.He had been looking at Alice for some timewith great curiosity, and this was his firstspeech.

"You should learn not to make personalremarks," Alice said with some severity;"it's very rude."

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide onhearing this; but all he said was "Why is araven like a writing-desk?"

"Come, we shall have some fun now!"thought Alice. "I'm glad they've begunasking riddles.—I believe I can guess that,"she added aloud.

"Do you mean that you think you can[84]find out the answer to it?" said the MarchHare.

"Exactly so," said Alice.

"Then you should say what you mean,"the March Hare went on.

"I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least—atleast I mean what I say—that's the samething, you know."

"Not the same thing a bit!" said theHatter. "Why, you might just as well saythat 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as'I eat what I see'!"

"You might just as well say," added theMarch Hare, "that 'I like what I get' is thesame thing as 'I get what I like'!"

"You might just as well say," added theDormouse, which seemed to be talking in hissleep, "that 'I breathe when I sleep' is thesame thing as 'I sleep when I breathe'!"

"It is the same thing with you," said theHatter; and here the conversation dropped,and the party sat silent for a minute, whileAlice thought over all she could rememberabout ravens and writing-desks, which wasn'tmuch.

A Mad Tea Party

The Hatter was the first to break the[85]silence. "What day of the month is it?" hesaid, turning to Alice: he had taken hiswatch out of his pocket, and was looking atit uneasily, shaking it every now and then,and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and then said"The fourth."

"Two days wrong!" sighed the Hatter."I told you butter would not suit the works!"he added, looking angrily at the March Hare.

"It was the best butter," the March Haremeekly replied.

"Yes, but some crumbs must have got inas well," the Hatter grumbled: "you shouldn'thave put it in with the bread-knife."

The March Hare took the watch and lookedat it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cupof tea, and looked at it again: but he couldthink of nothing better to say than his firstremark, "It was the best butter, you know."

Alice had been looking over his shoulderwith some curiosity. "What a funny watch!"she remarked. "It tells the day of the month,and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!"

"Why should it?" muttered the Hatter."Does your watch tell you what year it is?"[86]

"Of course not," Alice replied very readily:"but that's because it stays the same year forsuch a long time together."

"Which is just the case with mine," saidthe Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter'sremark seemed to have no meaning in it, andyet it was certainly English. "I don't quiteunderstand," she said, as politely as shecould.

"The Dormouse is asleep again," said theHatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon itsnose.

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently,and said, without opening its eyes, "Of course,of course; just what I was going to remarkmyself."

"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" theHatter said, turning to Alice again.

"No, I give it up," Alice replied: "what'sthe answer?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," said theHatter.

"Nor I," said the March Hare.

Alice sighed wearily. "I think you mightdo something better with the time," she said,[87]"than wasting it asking riddles with noanswers."

"If you knew Time as well as I do," saidthe Hatter, "you wouldn't talk about wastingit. It's him."

"I don't know what you mean," said Alice.

"Of course you don't!" the Hatter said,tossing his head contemptuously. "I daresayyou never spoke to Time!"

"Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied:"but I know I have to beat time when Ilearn music."

"Ah! that accounts for it," said the Hatter."He won't stand beating. Now, if you onlykept on good terms with him, he'd do almostanything you liked with the clock. For instance,suppose it were nine o'clock in themorning, just time to begin lessons: you'donly have to whisper a hint to Time, andround goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-pastone, time for dinner!"

("I only wish it was," the March Hare saidto itself in a whisper.)

"That would be grand, certainly," saidAlice thoughtfully: "but then—I shouldn'tbe hungry for it, you know."[88]

"Not at first, perhaps," said the Hatter:"but you could keep it to half-past one aslong as you liked."

"Is that the way you manage?" Aliceasked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully."Not I!" he replied. "We quarrelled lastMarch——just before he went mad, youknow——" (pointing with his teaspoon to theMarch Hare), "it was at the great concertgiven by the Queen of Hearts, and I had tosing

'Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!'

You know that song, perhaps?"

"I've heard something like it," said Alice.

"It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued,"in this way:—

'Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle——'"

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and begansinging in its sleep "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,twinkle——" and went on so long that theyhad to pinch it to make it stop.[89]

"Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,"said the Hatter, "when the Queen jumped upand bawled out 'He's murdering the time!Off with his head!'"

"How dreadfully savage!" exclaimedAlice.

"And ever since that," the Hatter went onin a mournful tone, "he won't do a thing Iask! It's always six o'clock now."

A bright idea came into Alice's head. "Isthat the reason so many tea-things are putout here?" she asked.

"Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with asigh: "it's always tea-time, and we've notime to wash the things between whiles."

"Then you keep moving round, I suppose?"said Alice.

"Exactly so," said the Hatter: "as thethings get used up."

"But what happens when you come tothe beginning again?" Alice ventured toask.

"Suppose we change the subject," theMarch Hare interrupted, yawning. "I'mgetting tired of this. I vote the young ladytells us a story."[90]

"I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice,rather alarmed at the proposal.

"Then the Dormouse shall!" they bothcried. "Wake up, Dormouse!" And theypinched it on both sides at once.

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. "Iwasn't asleep," he said in a hoarse, feeblevoice: "I heard every word you fellows weresaying."

"Tell us a story!" said the March Hare.

"Yes, please do!" pleaded Alice.

"And be quick about it," added the Hatter,"or you'll be asleep again before it's done."

"Once upon a time there were three littlesisters," the Dormouse began in a greathurry; "and their names were Elsie, Lacie,and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of awell——"

"What did they live on?" said Alice, whoalways took a great interest in questions ofeating and drinking.

"They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse,after thinking a minute or two.

"They couldn't have done that, you know,"Alice gently remarked; "they'd have beenill."[91]

"So they were," said the Dormouse; "veryill."

Alice tried a little to fancy to herself whatsuch an extraordinary way of living would belike, but it puzzled her too much, so she wenton: "But why did they live at the bottom ofa well?"

"Take some more tea," the March Haresaid to Alice, very earnestly.

"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in anoffended tone, "so I can't take more."

"You mean you can't take less," said theHatter; "it's very easy to take more thannothing."

"Nobody asked your opinion," said Alice.

"Who's making personal remarks now?"the Hatter asked triumphantly.

Alice did not quite know what to say tothis: so she helped herself to some tea andbread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse,and repeated her question. "Whydid they live at the bottom of a well?"

The Dormouse again took a minute or two think about it, and then said, "It was atreacle-well."

"There's no such thing!" Alice was beginning[92]very angrily, but the Hatter and theMarch Hare went "Sh! sh!" and the Dormousesulkily remarked: "If you can't becivil, you'd better finish the story for yourself."

"No, please go on!" Alice said veryhumbly. "I won't interrupt you again. Idare say there may be one."

"One, indeed!" said the Dormouse indignantly.However, he consented to go on."And so these three little sisters—they werelearning to draw, you know——"

"What did they draw?" said Alice, quiteforgetting her promise.

"Treacle," said the Dormouse, withoutconsidering at all this time.

"I want a clean cup," interrupted theHatter: "let's all move one place on."

He moved as he spoke, and the Dormousefollowed him: the March Hare moved intothe Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillinglytook the place of the March Hare.The Hatter was the only one who got anyadvantage from the change: and Alice was agood deal worse off than before, as the MarchHare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.[93]

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouseagain, so she began very cautiously: "But Idon't understand. Where did they draw thetreacle from?"

"You can draw water out of a water-well,"said the Hatter; "so I should think youcould draw treacle out of a treacle-well—eh,stupid!"

"But they were in the well," Alice said tothe Dormouse, not choosing to notice thislast remark.

"Of course they were," said the Dormouse;"——well in."

This answer so confused poor Alice thatshe let the Dormouse go on for some timewithout interrupting it.

"They were learning to draw," the Dormousewent on, yawning and rubbing itseyes, for it was getting very sleepy; "andthey drew all manner of things—everythingthat begins with an M——"

"Why with an M?" said Alice.

"Why not?" said the March Hare.

Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by thistime, and was going off into a dose; but, on[94]being pinched by the Hatter, it woke upagain with a little shriek, and went on: "——that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps,and the moon, and memory, and muchness—youknow you say things are 'much of amuchness'—did you ever see such a thing asa drawing of a muchness?"

"Really, now you ask me," said Alice, verymuch confused, "I don't think——"

"Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alicecould bear: she got up in great disgust andwalked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly,and neither of the others took the least noticeof her going, though she looked back onceor twice, half hoping that they would callafter her: the last time she saw them, theywere trying to put the Dormouse into theteapot.

"At any rate I'll never go there again!"said Alice as she picked her way through thewood. "It's the stupidest tea-party I everwas at in all my life!"

Just as she said this, she noticed that oneof the trees had a door leading right into it."That's very curious!" she thought. "But[95]everything's curious to-day. I think I mayas well go in at once." And in she went.

Once more she found herself in the longhall, and close to the little glass table. "NowI'll manage better this time," she said to herself,and began by taking the little goldenkey, and unlocking the door that led into thegarden. Then she set to work nibbling at themushroom (she had kept a piece of it in herpocket) till she was about a foot high: thenshe walked down the little passage: and then—shefound herself at last in the beautifulgarden, among the bright flower-beds and thecool fountains.

[96]

CHAPTER VIII

The Queen'sCroquet-Ground

LARGE rose-tree stood near theentrance of the garden: the rosesgrowing on it were white, but therewere three gardeners at it, busilypainting them red. Alice thought this a verycurious thing, and she went nearer to watchthem, and just as she came up to themshe heard one of them say "Look out now,Five! Don't go splashing paint over me likethat!"

"I couldn't help it," said Five, in a sulkytone. "Seven jogged my elbow."

On which Seven looked up and said, "That'sright, Five! Always lay the blame on others!"

"You'd better not talk!" said Five. "Iheard the Queen say only yesterday you deservedto be beheaded!"

"What for?" said the one who had firstspoken.[97]

"That's none of your business, Two!" saidSeven.

"Yes, it is his business!" said Five. "AndI'll tell him—it was for bringing the cooktulip-roots instead of onions."

Seven flung down his brush, and had justbegun "Well, of all the unjust things——"when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, asshe stood watching them, and he checkedhimself suddenly: the others looked roundalso, and all of them bowed low.

"Would you tell me," said Alice, a littletimidly, "why you are painting thoseroses?"

Five and Seven said nothing, but lookedat Two. Two began in a low voice, "Why,the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought tohave been a red rose-tree, and we put a whiteone in by mistake; and if the Queen was tofind it out, we should all have our heads cutoff, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doingour best, afore she comes, to——" At thismoment, Five, who had been anxiously lookingacross the garden, called out "The Queen!The Queen!" and the three gardeners instantlythrew themselves flat upon their faces. There[98]was a sound of many footsteps, and Alicelooked round, eager to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs;these were all shaped like the three gardeners,oblong and flat, with their hands and feet atthe corners: next the ten courtiers; thesewere ornamented all over with diamonds, andwalked two and two, as the soldiers did.After these came the royal children; therewere ten of them, and the little dears camejumping merrily along hand in hand, incouples; they were all ornamented with hearts.Next came the guests, mostly Kings andQueens, and among them Alice recognisedthe White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried,nervous manner, smiling at everything thatwas said, and went by without noticing her.Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carryingthe King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion;and last of all this grand procession, cameTHE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

Alice was rather doubtful whether sheought not to lie down on her face like thethree gardeners, but she could not rememberever having heard of such a rule at processions;"and besides, what would be the[99]use of a procession," thought she, "if peoplehad to lie down upon their faces, so that theycouldn't see it?" So she stood still whereshe was, and waited.

When the procession came opposite toAlice, they all stopped and looked at her, andthe Queen said severely, "Who is this?"She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who onlybowed and smiled in reply.

"Idiot!" said the Queen, tossing her headimpatiently; and turning to Alice, she wenton, "What's your name, child?"

"My name is Alice, so please yourMajesty," said Alice very politely; but sheadded, to herself, "Why, they're only a packof cards, after all. I needn't be afraid ofthem!"

"And who are these?" said the Queen,pointing to the three gardeners who werelying round the rose-tree; for, you see, asthey were lying on their faces, and thepattern on their backs was the same as therest of the pack, she could not tell whetherthey were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers,or three of her own children.

"How should I know?" said Alice, surprised[100]at her own courage. "It's no businessof mine."

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and,after glaring at her for a moment like awild beast, screamed "Off with her head!Off——"

"Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly anddecidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, andtimidly said "Consider my dear: she is onlya child!"

The Queen turned angrily away from him,and said to the Knave "Turn them over!"

The Knave did so, very carefully, with onefoot.

"Get up!" said the Queen, in a shrill,loud voice, and the three gardeners instantlyjumped up, and began bowing to the King, theQueen, the royal children, and everybody else.

"Leave off that!" screamed the Queen."You make me giddy." And then, turningto the rose-tree, she went on, "What haveyou been doing here?"

"May it please your Majesty," said Two,in a very humble tone, going down on oneknee as he spoke, "we were trying——"

The Queen turned angrily away from him and saidto the Knave, "Turn them over"

[101]

"I see!" said the Queen, who had meanwhilebeen examining the roses. "Off withtheir heads!" and the procession moved on,three of the soldiers remaining behind toexecute the unfortunate gardeners, who ranto Alice for protection.

"You shan't be beheaded!" said Alice, andshe put them into a large flower-pot thatstood near. The three soldiers wanderedabout for a minute or two, looking for them,and then quietly marched off after the others.

"Are their heads off?" shouted theQueen.

"Their heads are gone, if it please yourMajesty!" the soldiers shouted in reply.

"That's right!" shouted the Queen. "Canyou play croquet?"

The soldiers were silent, and looked atAlice, as the question was evidently meantfor her.

"Yes!" shouted Alice.

"Come on, then!" roared the Queen, andAlice joined the procession, wondering verymuch what would happen next.

"It's—it's a very fine day!" said a timidvoice at her side. She was walking by the[102]White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiouslyinto her face.

"Very," said Alice: "——where's theDuchess?"

"Hush! Hush!" said the Rabbit in a lowhurried tone. He looked anxiously over hisshoulder as he spoke, and then raised himselfupon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear,and whispered "She's under sentence ofexecution."

"What for?" said Alice.

"Did you say 'What a pity!'?" the Rabbitasked.

"No, I didn't," said Alice: "I don't thinkit's at all a pity. I said 'What for?'"

"She boxed the Queen's ears—" the Rabbitbegan. Alice gave a little scream of laughter."Oh, hush!" the Rabbit whispered in afrightened tone. "The Queen will hear you!You see she came rather late, and the Queensaid——"

"Get to your places!" shouted the Queenin a voice of thunder, and people beganrunning about in all directions, tumbling upagainst each other; however, they got settleddown in a minute or two, and the game[103]began. Alice thought she had never seensuch a curious croquet-ground in all her life;it was all ridges and furrows; the balls werelive hedgehogs, the malletslive flamingoes, and thesoldiers had to doublethemselves up and to standupon their hands and feet,to make the arches.

The chief difficulty Alicefound at first was inmanaging her flamingo;she succeededin getting its bodytucked away, comfortablyenough,under her arm, withits legs hanging down, butgenerally, just she had gotits neck nicely straightened out, andwas going to give the hedgehog ablow with its head, it would twistitself round and look up in her face, withsuch a puzzled expression that she couldnot help bursting out laughing: and whenshe had got its head down, and was going to[104]begin again, it was very provoking to find thatthe hedgehog had unrolled itself and was in theact of crawling away: besides all this, therewas generally a ridge or a furrow in the waywherever she wanted to send the to,and, as the doubled-up soldiers were alwaysgetting up and walking off to other parts ofthe ground, Alice soon came to the conclusionthat it was a very difficult game indeed.

The players all played at once withoutwaiting for turns, quarrelling all the while,and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in avery short time the Queen was in a furiouspassion, and went stamping about, and shouting"Off with his head!" or "Off with herhead!" about once in a minute.

Alice began to feel very uneasy: to besure she had not as yet had any dispute withthe Queen, but she knew that it might happenany minute, "and then," thought she, "whatwould become of me? They're dreadfullyfond of beheading people here: the greatwonder is that there's any one left alive!"

She was looking about for some way ofescape, and wondering whether she could getaway without being seen, when she noticed[105]a curious appearance in the air: it puzzledher very much at first, but, after watching ita minute or two, she made it out to be a grin,and she said to herself "It's the CheshireCat: now I shall have somebody to talk to."

"How are you getting on?" said the Cat,as soon as there was mouth enough for itto speak with.

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, andthen nodded. "It's no use speaking to it,"she thought, "till its ears have come, or atleast one of them." In another minute thewhole head appeared, and then Alice putdown her flamingo, and began an account ofthe game, feeling very glad she had some oneto listen to her. The Cat seemed to thinkthat there was enough of it now in sight, andno more of it appeared.

"I don't think they play at all fairly," Alicebegan, in rather a complaining tone, "andthey all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hearoneself speak—and they don't seem to haveany rules in particular; at least, if there are,nobody attends to them—and you've no ideahow confusing it is all the things being alive;for instance, there's the arch I've got to go[106]through next walking about at the other endof the ground—and I should have croquetedthe Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ranaway when it saw mine coming!"

"How do you like the Queen?" said theCat in a low voice.

"Not at all," said Alice: "she's so extremely——"Just then she noticed that theQueen was close behind her listening: so shewent on, "——likely to win, that it's hardlyworth while finishing the game."

The Queen smiled and passed on.

"Who are you talking to?" said the King,coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat'shead with great curiosity.

"It's a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,"said Alice: "allow me to introduce it."[107]

"I don't like the look of it at all," said theKing: "however, it may kiss my hand if itlikes."

"I'd rather not," the Cat remarked.

"Don't be impertinent," said the King,"and don't look at me like that!" He gotbehind Alice as he spoke.

"A cat may look at a king," said Alice."I've read that in some book, but I don'tremember where."

"Well, it must be removed," said the Kingvery decidedly, and he called to the Queen,who was passing at the moment, "Mydear! I wish you would have this catremoved!"

The Queen had only one way of settlingall difficulties, great or small. "Off with hishead!" she said, without even lookinground.

"I'll fetch the executioner myself," said theKing eagerly, and he hurried off.

Alice thought she might as well go backand see how the game was going on, as sheheard the Queen's voice in the distance,screaming with passion. She had alreadyheard her sentence three of the players to[108]be executed for having missed their turns,and she did not like the look of things at all,as the game was in such confusion that shenever knew whether it was her turn or not.So she went in search of her hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight withanother hedgehog, which seemed to Alicean excellent opportunity for croqueting oneof them with the other: the only difficultywas, that her flamingo was gone across tothe other side of the garden, where Alicecould see it trying in a helpless sort of wayto fly up into one of the trees.

By the time she had caught the flamingoand brought it back, the fight was over, andboth the hedgehogs were out of sight: "butit doesn't matter much," thought Alice, "asall the arches are gone from this side of theground." So she tucked it under her arm,that it might not escape again, and wentback for a little more conversation with herfriend.

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat,she was surprised to find quite a largecrowd collected round it: there was a disputegoing on between the executioner, the King,[109]and the Queen, who were all talking at once,while all the rest were quite silent, andlooked very uncomfortable.

The moment Alice appeared, she wasappealed to by all three tosettle the question, and theyrepeated their arguments toher, though, as theyall spoke at once, shefound it very hard indeedto make out exactlywhat they said.

The executioner's argumentwas, that you couldn'tcut off a head unless therewas a body to cut it offfrom: that he had never had to do such athing before, and he wasn't going to begin athis time of life.

The King's argument was, that anythingthat had a head could be beheaded, andthat you weren't to talk nonsense.

The Queen's argument was, that if somethingwasn't done about it in less than notime, she'd have everybody executed allround. (It was this last remark that had[110]made the whole party look so grave andanxious.)

Alice could think of nothing else to say but"It belongs to the Duchess: you'd better askher about it."

"She's in prison," the Queen said to theexecutioner; "fetch her here." And theexecutioner went off like an arrow.

The Cat's head began fading away the momenthe was gone, and by the time he hadcome back with the Duchess, it had entirelydisappeared; so the King and the executionerran wildly up and down looking for it, whilethe rest of the party went back to the game.

[111]

CHAPTER IX

The MockTurtle'sStory

OU can't think how glad I am tosee you again, you dear old thing!"said the Duchess, as she tuckedher arm affectionately into Alice's,and they walked off together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such apleasant temper, and thought to herself thatperhaps it was only the pepper that had madeher so savage when they met in the kitchen.

"When I'm a Duchess," she said to herself(not in a very hopeful tone though), "I won'thave any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soupdoes very well without—Maybe it's alwayspepper that makes people hot-tempered," shewent on, very much pleased at having foundout a new kind of rule, "and vinegar thatmakes them sour—and camomile that makesthem bitter—and—barley-sugar and suchthings that make children sweet-tempered. I[112]only wish people knew that: then theywouldn't be so stingy about it, you know——"

She had quite forgotten the Duchess bythis time, and was a little startled when sheheard her voice close to her ear. "You'rethinking about something, my dear, and thatmakes you forget to talk. I can't tell youjust now what the moral of that is, but I shallremember it in a bit."

"Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured toremark.

"Tut, tut, child!" said the Duchess."Every thing's got a moral, if only you canfind it." And she squeezed herself up closerto Alice's side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like her keeping soclose to her: first, because the Duchess wasvery ugly; and secondly, because she wasexactly the right height to rest her chin onAlice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortablysharp chin. However, she did not like to berude, so she bore it as well as she could."The game's going on rather better now," shesaid, by way of keeping up the conversationa little.

"'Tis so," said the Duchess: "and the[113]moral of that is—'Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, thatmakes the world go round!'"

"Somebody said," Alice whispered, "thatit's done by everybody minding their ownbusiness!"

"Ah, well! It means much the samething," said the Duchess, digging her sharplittle chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,"and the moral of that is—'Take care of thesense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.'"

"How fond she is of finding morals inthings!" Alice thought to herself.

"I dare say you're wondering why I don'tput my arm round your waist," the Duchesssaid after a pause: "the reason is, that I'mdoubtful about the temper of your flamingo.Shall I try the experiment?"

"He might bite," Alice cautiously replied,not feeling at all anxious to have the experimenttried.

"Very true," said the Duchess: "flamingoesand mustard both bite. And the moralof that is—'Birds of a feather flock together.'"

"Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarked.[114]

"Right, as usual," said the Duchess:"what a clear way you have of puttingthings!"

"It's a mineral, I think," said Alice.

"Of course it is," said the Duchess, whoseemed ready to agree to everything thatAlice said: "there's a large mustard-minenear here. And the moral of that is—'Themore there is of mine, the less there is ofyours.'"

"Oh, I know!" exclaimed Alice, who hadnot attended to this last remark. "It's avegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is."

"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess;"and the moral of that is—'Be what youwould seem to be'—or if you'd like it putmore simply—'Never imagine yourself notto be otherwise than what it might appear toothers that what you were or might havebeen was not otherwise than what you hadbeen would have appeared to them to beotherwise.'"

"I think I should understand that better,"Alice said very politely, "if I had it writtendown: but I can't quite follow it as yousay it."[115]

"That's nothing to what I could sayif I chose," the Duchess replied, in a pleasedtone.

"Pray don't trouble yourself to say it anylonger than that," said Alice.

"Oh, don't talk about trouble!" said theDuchess. "I make you a present of everythingI've said as yet."

"A cheap sort of present!" thought Alice."I'm glad they don't give birthday presentslike that!" But she did not venture to sayit out loud.

"Thinking again?" the Duchess askedwith another dig of her sharp little chin.

"I've a right to think," said Alice sharply,for she was beginning to feel a little worried.

"Just about as much right," said theDuchess, "as pigs have to fly; and them——"

But here, to Alice's great surprise, theDuchess's voice died away, even in the middleof her favourite word "moral," and the armthat was linked into hers began to tremble.Alice looked up, and there stood the Queenin front of them, with her arms folded, frowninglike a thunderstorm.[116]

"A fine day, your Majesty!" the Duchessbegan in a low, weak voice.

"Now, I give you fair warning," shouted theQueen, stamping on the ground as she spoke;"either you or your head must be off, and thatin about half no time! Take your choice!"

The Duchess took her choice, and wasgone in a moment.

"Let's go on with the game," the Queensaid to Alice; and Alice was too muchfrightened to say a word, but slowly followedher back to the croquet-ground.

The other guests had taken advantage ofthe Queen's absence, and were resting in theshade: however, the moment they saw her,they hurried back to the game, the Queenmerely remarking that a moment's delaywould cost them their lives.

The Queen never left off quarrelling with the otherplayers, and shouting "Off with his head!"or, "Off with her head!"

All the time they were playing the Queennever left off quarrelling with the otherplayers, and shouting "Off with his head!"or "Off with her head!" Those whom shesentenced were taken into custody by thesoldiers, who of course had to leave off beingarches to do this, so that by the end of halfan hour or so there were no arches left, and[117]all the players, except the King, the Queen,and Alice, were in custody and under sentenceof execution.

Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath,and said to Alice, "Have you seen the MockTurtle yet?"

"No," said Alice. "I don't even knowwhat a Mock Turtle is."

"It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is madefrom," said the Queen.

"I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice.

"Come on then," said the Queen, "and heshall tell you his history."

As they walked off together, Alice heardthe King say in a low voice, to the companygenerally, "You are all pardoned." "Come,that's a good thing!" she said to herself, forshe had felt quite unhappy at the number ofexecutions the Queen had ordered.

They very soon came upon a Gryphon,lying fast asleep in the sun. (If you don'tknow what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)"Up, lazy thing!" said the Queen, "andtake this young lady to see the Mock Turtle,and to hear his history. I must go back andsee after some executions I have ordered,"[118]and she walked off, leaving Alice alone withthe Gryphon. Alice did not quite like thelook of the creature, but on the whole shethought it would be quite as safe to stay withit as to go after that savage Queen: so shewaited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes:then it watched the Queen till she was out ofsight: then it chuckled. "What fun!" saidthe Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

"What is the fun?" said Alice.

"Why, she," said the Gryphon. "It'sall her fancy, that: they never executesnobody, you know. Come on!"

"Everybody says 'come on!' here,"thought Alice, as she went slowly after it:"I never was so ordered about in my life,never!"

They had not gone far before they saw theMock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad andlonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as theycame nearer, Alice could hear him sighingas if his heart would break. She pitied himdeeply. "What is his sorrow?" she askedthe Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered,very nearly in the same words as before,[121][119]"It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got nosorrow, you know. Come on!"

So they went up to the Mock Turtle,who looked at them with large eyes full oftears, but said nothing.

"This here young lady," said the Gryphon,"she wants to know your history, she do."

"I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in adeep, hollow tone; "sit down, both of you,and don't speak a word till I've finished."

So they sat down, and nobody spoke forsome minutes. Alice thought to herself, "Idon't see how he can ever finish, if hedoesn't begin." But she waited patiently.

"Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, witha deep sigh, "I was a real Turtle."

These words were followed by a very longsilence, broken only by an occasional exclamationof "Hjckrrh!" from the Gryphon, and theconstant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle.Alice was very nearly getting up and saying"Thank you, sir, for your interesting story," butshe could not help thinking there must be moreto come, so she sat still and said nothing.

"When we were little," the Mock Turtlewent on at last, more calmly, though still[122]sobbing a little now and then, "we went toschool in the sea. The master was an oldTurtle—we used to call him Tortoise——"

"Why did you call him Tortoise, if hewasn't one?" Alice asked.

"We called him Tortoise because hetaught us," said the Mock Turtle angrily:"really you are very dull!"

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself forasking such a simple question," added theGryphon; and then they both sat silent andlooked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sinkinto the earth. At last the Gryphon said tothe Mock Turtle, "Drive on, old fellow.Don't be all day about it!" and he went onin these words:

"Yes, we went to school in the sea, thoughyou mayn't believe it——"

"I never said I didn't!" interruptedAlice.

"You did," said the Mock Turtle.

"Hold your tongue!" added the Gryphon,before Alice could speak again. The MockTurtle went on:—

"We had the best of educations—in fact,we went to school every day——"[123]

"I've been to a day-school, too," said Alice;"you needn't be so proud as all that."

"With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle alittle anxiously.

"Yes," said Alice, "we learned French andmusic."

"And washing?" said the Mock Turtle.

"Certainly not!" said Alice indignantly.

"Ah! then yours wasn't a really goodschool," said the Mock Turtle in a tone ofrelief. "Now at ours they had at the end ofthe bill, 'French, music, and washing—extra.'"

"You couldn't have wanted it much," saidAlice; "living at the bottom of the sea."

"I couldn't afford to learn it," said theMock Turtle with a sigh. "I only took theregular course."

"What was that?" inquired Alice.

"Reeling and Writhing, of course, to beginwith," the Mock Turtle replied; "and then thedifferent branches of Arithmetic—Ambition,Distraction, Uglification, and Derision."

"I never heard of 'Uglification,'" Aliceventured to say. "What is it?"

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in[124]surprise. "Never heard of uglifying!" itexclaimed. "You know what to beautify is,I suppose?"

"Yes," said Alice doubtfully: "it means—to—make—anything—prettier."

"Well, then," the Gryphon went on, "ifyou don't know what to uglify is, you are asimpleton."

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask anymore questions about it, so she turned to theMock Turtle and said, "What else had youto learn?"

"Well, there was Mystery," the MockTurtle replied, counting off the subjects onhis flappers, "—Mystery, ancient and modern,with Seaography: then Drawling—the Drawling-masterwas an old conger-eel, that usedto come once a week: he taught us Drawling,Stretching, and Fainting in Coils."

"What was that like?" said Alice.

"Well, I can't show it you myself," theMock Turtle said: "I'm too stiff. And theGryphon never learnt it."

"Hadn't time," said the Gryphon: "I wentto the Classical master, though. He was anold crab, he was."[125]

"I never went to him," the Mock Turtlesaid with a sigh: "he taught Laughing andGrief, they used to say."

"So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon,sighing in his turn; and both creatures hidtheir faces in their paws.

"And how many hours a day did you dolessons?" said Alice, in a hurry to changethe subject.

"Ten hours the first day," said the MockTurtle: "nine the next, and so on."

"What a curious plan!" exclaimed Alice.

"That's the reason they're called lessons,"the Gryphon remarked: "because they lessenfrom day to day."

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and shethought over it a little before she made hernext remark. "Then the eleventh day musthave been a holiday."

"Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle.

"And how did you manage on the twelfth?"Alice went on eagerly.

"That's enough about lessons," the Gryphoninterrupted in a very decided tone: "tell hersomething about the games now."

[126]

CHAPTER X

The LobsterQuadrille

HE Mock Turtle sighed deeply,and drew the back of one flapperacross his eyes. He looked atAlice, and tried to speak, but, for aminute or two, sobs choked his voice. "Sameas if he had a bone in his throat," said theGryphon: and it set to work shaking him andpunching him in the back. At last the MockTurtle recovered his voice, and, with tearsrunning down his cheeks, went on again:

"You may not have lived much under thesea—" ("I haven't," said Alice) "and perhapsyou were never even introduced to a lobster—"(Alice began to say "I once tasted——" butchecked herself hastily, and said "No, "—so you can have no idea what a delightfulthing a Lobster Quadrille is!"

"No, indeed," said Alice. "What sort ofa dance is it?"[127]

"Why," said the Gryphon, "you first forminto a line along the sea-shore——"

"Two lines!" cried the Mock Turtle."Seals, turtles, and so on; then, when you'vecleared the jelly-fish out of the way——"

"That generally takes some time," interruptedthe Gryphon.

"—you advance twice——"

"Each with a lobster as a partner!" criedthe Gryphon.

"Of course," the Mock Turtle said: "advancetwice, set to partners——"

"—change lobsters, and retire in sameorder," continued the Gryphon.

"Then, you know," the Mock Turtle wenton, "you throw the——"

"The lobsters!" shouted the Gryphon,with a bound into the air.

"—as far out to sea as you can——"

"Swim, after them!" screamed theGryphon.

"Turn a somersault in the sea!" cried theMock Turtle, capering wildly about.

"Change lobsters again!" yelled theGryphon.

"Back to land again, and—that's all the[128]first figure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenlydropping his voice; and the two creatures,who had been jumping about like mad thingsall this time, sat down again very sadly andquietly, and looked at Alice.

"It must be a very pretty dance," saidAlice, timidly.

"Would you like to see a little of it?"said the Mock Turtle.

"Very much indeed," said Alice.

"Come, let's try the first figure!" said theMock Turtle to the Gryphon. "We can doit without lobsters, you know. Which shallsing?"

"Oh, you sing," said the Gryphon. "I'veforgotten the words."

So they began solemnly dancing roundand round Alice, every now and then treadingon her toes when they passed too close, andwaving their forepaws to mark the time, whilethe Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly andsadly:—

"Thank you, it's a very interesting danceto watch," said Alice, feeling very glad thatit was over at last: "and I do so like thatcurious song about the whiting!"

"Oh, as to the whiting," said the MockTurtle, "they—you've seen them, of course?"

"Yes," said Alice, "I've often seen themat dinn——" she checked herself hastily.

"I don't know where Dinn may be," saidthe Mock Turtle, "but if you've seen them sooften, of course you know what they're like."

"I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully."They have their tails in their mouths—andthey're all over crumbs."

"You're wrong about the crumbs," said theMock Turtle: "crumbs would all wash off inthe sea. But they have their tails in theirmouths; and the reason is—" here the MockTurtle yawned and shut his eyes. "Tell herabout the reason and all that," he said to theGryphon.[131]

"The reason is," said the Gryphon, "thatthey would go with the lobsters to the dance.So they got thrown out to sea. So they hadto fall a long way. So they got their tailsfast in their mouths. So they couldn't getthem out again. That's all."

"Thank you," said Alice. "It's very interesting.I never knew so much about awhiting before."

"I can tell you more than that, if you like,"said the Gryphon. "Do you know why it'scalled a whiting?"

"I never thought about it," said Alice."Why?"

"It does the boots and shoes," the Gryphonreplied very solemnly.

Alice was thoroughly puzzled. "Does theboots and shoes!" she repeated in a wonderingtone.

"Why, what are your shoes done with?"said the Gryphon. "I mean, what makesthem so shiny?"

Alice looked down at them, and considereda little before she gave her answer. "They'redone with blacking, I believe."

"Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon[132]went on in a deep voice, "are done withwhiting. Now you know."

"And what are they made of?" Alice askedin a tone of great curiosity.

"Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphonreplied rather impatiently: "any shrimp couldhave told you that."

"If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whosethoughts were still running on the song, "I'dhave said to the porpoise, 'Keep back, please:we don't want you with us!'"

"They were obliged to have him with them,"the Mock Turtle said: "no wise fish wouldgo anywhere without a porpoise."

"Wouldn't it really?" said Alice in a toneof great surprise.

"Of course not," said the Mock Turtle:"why, if a fish came to me, and told me hewas going a journey, I should say, 'Withwhat porpoise?'"

"Don't you mean 'purpose'?" said Alice.

"I mean what I say," the Mock Turtlereplied in an offended tone. And the Gryphonadded, "Come, let's hear some of your adventures."

The Mock Turtle drew a long breath and said,"That's very curious"

"I could tell you my adventures—beginning[133]from this morning," said Alice a little timidly:"but it's no use going back to yesterday, becauseI was a different person then."

"Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle.

"No, no! The adventures first," said theGryphon in an impatient tone: "explanationstake such a dreadful time."

So Alice began telling them her adventuresfrom the time when she first saw the WhiteRabbit. She was a little nervous about itjust at first, the two creatures got so close toher, one on each side, and opened their eyesand mouths so very wide, but she gainedcourage as she went on. Her listeners wereperfectly quiet till she got to the part abouther repeating "You are old, Father William,"to the Caterpillar, and the words all comingdifferent, and then the Mock Turtle drewa long breath, and said, "That's verycurious."

"It's all about as curious as it can be," saidthe Gryphon.

"It all came different!" the Mock Turtlerepeated thoughtfully. "I should like tohear her repeat something now. Tell her tobegin." He looked at the Gryphon as if he[134]thought it had some kind of authority overAlice.

"Stand up and repeat ''Tis the voice ofthe sluggard,'" said the Gryphon.

"How the creatures order one about, andmake one repeat lessons!" thought Alice."I might as well be at school at once."However, she got up, and began to repeat it,but her head was so full of the LobsterQuadrille, that she hardly knew what shewas saying, and the words came very queerindeed:—

"'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
'You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.'
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.
When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark:
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound."

"That's different from what I used to saywhen I was a child," said the Gryphon.

"Well, I never heard it before," said the[135]Mock Turtle: "but it sounds uncommonnonsense."

Alice said nothing; she had sat downwith her face in her hands, wondering ifanything would ever happen in a natural wayagain.

"I should like to have it explained," saidthe Mock Turtle.

"She ca'n't explain it," hastily said theGryphon. "Go on with the next verse."

"But about his toes?" the Mock Turtlepersisted. "How could he turn them outwith his nose, you know?"

"It's the first position in dancing," Alicesaid; but was dreadfully puzzled by thewhole thing, and longed to change the subject.

"Go on with the next verse," the Gryphonrepeated: "it begins 'I passed by his garden.'"

Alice did not dare to disobey, though shefelt sure it would all come wrong, and shewent on in a trembling voice:

"I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
[136]How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie:
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
And concluded the banquet by——"

"What is the use ofrepeating all that stuff,"the Mock Turtle interrupted,"if you don'texplain it as you goon? It's by far the mostconfusing thing I everheard!"

"Yes, I think you'dbetter leave off," saidthe Gryphon: and Alicewas only too glad to doso.

"Shall we try another figure of the LobsterQuadrille?" the Gryphon went on. "Orwould you like the Mock Turtle to sing youanother song?"

"Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle[137]would be so kind," Alice replied, so eagerlythat the Gryphon said, in a rather offendedtone, "H'm! No accounting for tastes!Sing her 'Turtle Soup,' will you, oldfellow?"

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began,in a voice choked with sobs, to sing this:—

"Chorus again!" cried the Gryphon, and[138]the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it,when a cry of "The trial's beginning!" washeard in the distance.

"Come on!" cried the Gryphon, and,taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, withoutwaiting for the end of the song.

"What trial is it?" Alice panted as sheran; but the Gryphon only answered "Comeon!" and ran the faster, while more and morefaintly came, carried on the breeze that followedthem, the melancholy words:—

"Soo—oop of the e—e—evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!"

[139]

CHAPTER XI

Who Stolethe Tarts?

HE King and Queen of Heartswere seated on their thronewhen they arrived, with a greatcrowd assembled about them—allsorts of little birds and beasts, as well asthe whole pack of cards: the Knave wasstanding before them, in chains, with asoldier on each side to guard him; and nearthe King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpetin one hand, and a scroll of parchment inthe other. In the very middle of the courtwas a table, with a large dish of tarts uponit: they looked so good, that it made Alicequite hungry to look at them—"I wish they'dget the trial done," she thought, "and handround the refreshments!" But there seemedto be no chance of this, so she began lookingabout her, to pass away the time.

Alice had never been in a court of justice[140]before, but she had read about them in books,and she was quite pleased to find that sheknew the name of nearly everything there."That's the judge," she said to herself,"because of his great wig."

The judge, by the way, was the King; andas he wore his crown over the wig, he did notlook at all comfortable, and it was certainlynot becoming.

"And that's the jury-box," thought Alice,"and those twelve creatures," (she wasobliged to say "creatures," you see, becausesome of them were animals, and some werebirds,) "I suppose they are the jurors." Shesaid this last word two or three times overto herself, being rather proud of it: for shethought, and rightly too, that very few littlegirls of her age knew the meaning of it at all.However, "jurymen" would have done justas well.

The twelve jurors were all writing verybusily on slates. "What are they all doing?"Alice whispered to the Gryphon. "Theycan't have anything to put down yet, beforethe trial's begun."

Who stole the tarts?

"They're putting down their names," the[141]Gryphon whispered in reply, "for fear theyshould forget them before the end of thetrial."

"Stupid things!" Alice began in a loud,indignant voice, but she stopped hastily, forthe White Rabbit cried out "Silence in thecourt!" and the King put on his spectaclesand looked anxiously round, to see who wastalking.

Alice could see, as well as if she werelooking over their shoulders, that all thejurors were writing down "stupid things!"on their slates, and she could even make outthat one of them didn't know how to spell"stupid," and that he had to ask his neighbourto tell him. "A nice muddle theirslates will be in before the trial's over!"thought Alice.

One of the jurors had a pencil thatsqueaked. This, of course, Alice could notstand, and she went round the court andgot behind him, and very soon found an opportunityof taking it away. She did itso quickly that the poor little juror (it wasBill, the Lizard) could not make out at allwhat had become of it; so, after hunting all[142]about for it, he was obliged to write with onefinger for the rest of the day; and this wasof very little use, as it left no mark on theslate.

"Herald, read the accusation!" said theKing.

On this the White Rabbit blew three blastson the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchmentscroll, and read as follows:

"The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!"

"Consider your verdict," the King said tothe jury.

"Not yet, not yet!" the Rabbit hastilyinterrupted. "There's a great deal to comebefore that!"

"Call the first witness," said the King;and the Rabbit blew three blasts on thetrumpet, and called out "First witness!"

The first witness was the Hatter. Hecame in with a teacup in one hand and apiece of bread-and-butter in the other. "I[143]beg pardon, your Majesty," he began, "forbringing these in; but I hadn't quite finishedmy tea when I was sent for."

"You ought to have finished," said theKing. "When did you begin?"

The Hatter looked at the March Hare, whohad followed him into the court, arm-in-armwith the Dormouse. "Fourteenth of March,I think it was," he said.

"Fifteenth," said the March Hare.

"Sixteenth," said the Dormouse.

"Write that down," the King said to thejury, and the jury eagerly wrote down allthree dates on their slates, and then addedthem up, and reduced the answer to shillingsand pence.

"Take off your hat," the King said to theHatter.

"It isn't mine," said the Hatter.

"Stolen!" the King exclaimed, turning tothe jury, who instantly made a memorandumof the fact.

"I keep them to sell," the Hatter added asan explanation: "I've none of my own. I'ma hatter."

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and[144]began staring hard at the Hatter, who turnedpale and fidgeted.

"Give your evidence," said the King;"and don't be nervous, or I'll have youexecuted on the spot."

This did not seem to encourage the witnessat all: he kept shifting from one foot tothe other, looking uneasily at the Queen,and in his confusion he bit a large pieceout of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

Just at this moment Alice felt a verycurious sensation, which puzzled her a gooddeal until she made out what it was: shewas beginning to grow larger again, and shethought at first she would get up and leavethe court; but on second thoughts shedecided to remain where she was as long asthere was room for her.

"I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said theDormouse, who was sitting next to her. "Ican hardly breathe."

"I can't help it," said Alice very meekly:"I'm growing."

"You've no right to grow here," said theDormouse.[145]

"Don't talk nonsense," said Alice moreboldly: "you know you're growing too."

"Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,"said the Dormouse; "not in that ridiculousfashion." And he got up very sulkily andcrossed over to the other side of the court.

All this time the Queen had never left offstaring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormousecrossed the court, she said to one ofthe officers of the court, "Bring me the listof the singers in the last concert!" on whichthe wretched Hatter trembled so, that heshook off both his shoes.

"Give your evidence," the King repeatedangrily, "or I'll have you executed, whetheryou're nervous or not."

"I'm a poor man, your Majesty," theHatter began, in a trembling voice, "—and Ihadn't begun my tea—not above a week or so—andwhat with the bread-and-butter gettingso thin—and the twinkling of the tea——"

"The twinkling of what?" said the King.

"It began with the tea," the Hatter replied.

"Of course twinkling begins with a T!"said the King sharply. "Do you take mefor a dunce? Go on!"[146]

"I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on,"and most things twinkled after that—onlythe March Hare said——"

"I didn't!" the March Hare interrupted ina great hurry.

"You did!" said the Hatter.

"I deny it!" said the March Hare.

"He denies it," said the King: "leave outthat part."

"Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said——"the Hatter went on, looking anxiously roundto see if he would deny it too: but the Dormousedenied nothing, being fast asleep.

"After that," continued the Hatter, "I cutsome more bread-and-butter——"

"But what did the Dormouse say?" one ofthe jury asked.

"That I can't remember," said the Hatter.

"You must remember," remarked the King,"or I'll have you executed."

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacupand bread-and-butter, and went down on oneknee. "I'm a poor man, your Majesty," hebegan.

"You're a very poor speaker," said theKing.[147]

Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, andwas immediately suppressed by the officersof the court. (As that is rather a hard word,I will just explain to you how it was done.They had a large canvas bag, which tied upat the mouth with strings: into this theyslipped the guinea-pig, head first, and thensat upon it.)

"I'm glad I've seen that done," thoughtAlice. "I've so often read in the newspapers,at the end of trials, 'There was some attemptat applause, which was immediately suppressedby the officers of the court,' and Inever understood what it meant till now."

"If that's all you know about it, you maystand down," continued the King.

"I can't go no lower," said the Hatter:"I'm on the floor, as it is."

"Then you may sit down," the Kingreplied.

Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and wassuppressed.

"Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs!"thought Alice. "Now we shall get onbetter."

"I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter,[148]with an anxious look at the Queen, who wasreading the list of singers.

"You may go," said the King; and theHatter hurriedly left the court, without evenwaiting to put his shoes on.

"—and just take his head off outside," theQueen added to one of the officers; but theHatter was out of sight before the officercould get to the door.

"Call the next witness!" said the King.

The next witness was the Duchess's cook.She carried the pepper-box in her hand, andAlice guessed who it was, even before she gotinto the court, by the way the people near thedoor began sneezing all at once.

"Give your evidence," said the King.

"Sha'n't," said the cook.

The King looked anxiously at the WhiteRabbit, who said in a low voice, "YourMajesty must cross-examine this witness."

"Well, if I must, I must," the King saidwith a melancholy air, and, after folding hisarms and frowning at the cook till his eyeswere nearly out of sight, he said in a deepvoice, "What are tarts made of?"

"Pepper, mostly," said the cook.[149]

"Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her.

"Collar that Dormouse," the Queenshrieked out. "Behead that Dormouse!Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppresshim! Pinch him! Off with hiswhiskers."

For some minutes the wholecourt was in confusion, gettingthe Dormouse turned out, and,by the time they had settleddown again, the cook had disappeared.

"Never mind!" said theKing, with an air of great relief."Call the next witness." Andhe added in an undertone tothe Queen, "Really, my dear,you must cross-examine the next witness. Itquite makes my forehead ache!"

Alice watched the White Rabbit as hefumbled over the list, feeling very curious tosee what the next witness would be like,"—for they haven't got much evidence yet,"she said to herself. Imagine her surprise,when the White Rabbit read out, at the topof his shrill little voice, the name "Alice!"

[150]

CHAPTER XII

Alice'sEvidence

ERE!" cried Alice, quite forgettingin the flurry of the momenthow large she had grown in thelast few minutes, and she jumpedup in such a hurry that she tipped over thejury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsettingall the jurymen on to the heads of the crowdbelow, and there they lay sprawling about,reminding her very much of a globe of gold-fishshe had accidentally upset the weekbefore.

"Oh, I beg your pardon!" she exclaimed ina tone of great dismay, and began pickingthem up again as quickly as she could, forthe accident of the gold-fish kept running inher head, and she had a vague sort of ideathat they must be collected at once and putback into the jury-box, or they would die.

"The trial cannot proceed," said the King[151]in a very grave voice, "until all the jurymenare back in their proper places—all," he repeatedwith great emphasis, looking hard atAlice as he said so.

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that,in her haste, she had put the Lizard in headdownwards, and the poor little thing waswaving its tail about in a melancholy way,being quite unable to move. She soon gotit out again, and put it right; "not that itsignifies much," she said to herself; "Ishould think it would be quite as much usein the trial one way up as the other."

As soon as the jury had a little recoveredfrom the shock of being upset, and theirslates and pencils had been found and handedback to them, they set to work very diligentlyto write out a history of the accident, allexcept the Lizard, who seemed too much overcometo do anything but sit with its mouthopen, gazing up into the roof of the court.

"What do you know about this business?"the King said to Alice.

"Nothing," said Alice.

"Nothing whatever?" persisted the King.

"Nothing whatever," said Alice.[152]

"That's very important," the King said,turning to the jury. They were just beginningto write this down on their slates, whenthe White Rabbit interrupted: "Unimportant,your Majesty means, of course," he saidin a very respectful tone, but frowning andmaking faces at him as he spoke.

"Unimportant, of course, I meant," theKing hastily said, and went on himself in anundertone, "important—unimportant—unimportant—important——"as if he were tryingwhich word sounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down "important,"and some "unimportant." Alice couldsee this, as she was near enough to look overtheir slates; "but it doesn't matter a bit,"she thought to herself.

At this moment the King, who had beenfor some time busily writing in his note-book,called out "Silence!" and read out from hisbook, "Rule Forty-two. All persons morethan a mile high to leave the court."

Everybody looked at Alice.

"I'm not a mile high," said Alice.

"You are," said the King.

"Nearly two miles high," added the Queen.[153]

"Well, I sha'n't go, at any rate," said Alice:"besides, that's not a regular rule: you inventedit just now."

"It's the oldest rule in the book," said theKing.

"Then it ought to be Number One," saidAlice.

The King turned pale, and shut his note-bookhastily. "Consider your verdict," hesaid to the jury, in a low trembling voice.

"There's more evidence to come yet, pleaseyour Majesty," said the White Rabbit, jumpingup in a great hurry: "this paper has justbeen picked up."

" in it?" said the Queen.

"I haven't opened it yet," said the WhiteRabbit, "but it seems to be a letter, writtenby the prisoner to—to somebody."

"It must have been that," said the King,"unless it was written to nobody, which isn'tusual, you know."

"Who is it directed to?" said one of thejurymen.

"It isn't directed at all," said the WhiteRabbit; "in fact, there's nothing written onthe outside." He unfolded the paper as he[154]spoke, and added "It isn't a letter after all:it's a set of verses."

"Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?"asked another of the jurymen.

"No, they're not," said the White Rabbit,"and that's the queerest thing about it."(The jury all looked puzzled.)

"He must have imitated somebody else'shand," said the King. (The jury all brightenedup again.)

"Please your Majesty," said the Knave, "Ididn't write it, and they can't prove that Idid: there's no name signed at the end."

"If you didn't sign it," said the King, "thatonly makes the matter worse. You must havemeant some mischief, or else you'd have signedyour name like an honest man."

There was a general clapping of hands atthis: it was the first really clever thing theKing had said that day.

"That proves his guilt, of course," said theQueen: "so, off with——"

"It doesn't prove anything of the sort!"said Alice. "Why, you don't even knowwhat they're about!"

"Read them," said the King.[155]

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles."Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?"he asked.

"Begin at the beginning," the King saidgravely, "and go on till you come to the end;then stop."

There was dead silence in the court, whilstthe White Rabbit read out these verses:—

"That's the most important piece ofevidence we've heard yet," said the King,rubbing his hands; "so now let the jury——"

"If any of them can explain it," said Alice,(she had grown so large in the last fewminutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interruptinghim,) "I'll give him sixpence. Idon't believe there's an atom of meaning init."

The jury all wrote down on their slates,"She doesn't believe there's an atom ofmeaning in it," but none of them attemptedto explain the paper.

"If there's no meaning in it," said the King,"that saves a world of trouble, you know, aswe needn't try to find any. And yet I don't[157]know," he went on, spreading out the verseson his knee, and looking at them with oneeye; "I seem to see some meaning in themafter all. '——said I could not swim—' youcan't swim can you?" he added, turning tothe Knave.

The Knave shook his head sadly. "DoI look like it?" he said. (Which he certainlydid not, being made entirely of cardboard.)

"All right, so far," said the King, as hewent on muttering over the verses to himself:"'We know it to be true—' that's the jury,of course—'If she should push the matter on'—thatmust be the Queen—'What wouldbecome of you?'—What, indeed!—'I gaveher one, they gave him two—' why, that mustbe what he did with the tarts, you know——"

"But it goes on 'they all returned fromhim to you,'" said Alice.

"Why, there they are!" said the Kingtriumphantly, pointing to the tarts on thetable. "Nothing can be clearer than that.Then again—'before she had this fit—' younever had fits, my dear, I think?" he said tothe Queen.

"Never!" said the Queen furiously, throwing[158]an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke.(The unfortunate little Bill had left off writingon his slate with one finger, as he found itmade no mark; but he now hastily beganagain, using the ink, that was trickling downhis face, as long as it lasted.)

At this the whole pack rose up into the air, andcame flying down upon her

"Then the words don't fit you," said theKing, looking round the court with a smile.There was a dead silence.

"It's a pun!" the King added in an angrytone, and everybody laughed.

"Let the jury consider their verdict," theKing said, for about the twentieth time thatday.

"No, no!" said the Queen. "Sentencefirst—verdict afterwards."

"Stuff and nonsense!" said Alice loudly."The idea of having the sentence first!"

"Hold your tongue!" said the Queen,turning purple.

"I won't!" said Alice.

"Off with her head!" the Queen shoutedat the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

"Who cares for you?" said Alice (she hadgrown to her full size by this time). "You'renothing but a pack of cards!"

[159]

At this the whole pack rose up into theair, and came flying down upon her: shegave a little scream, half of fright and half ofanger, and tried to beat them off, and foundherself lying on the bank, with her head inthe lap of her sister, who was gently brushingaway some dead leaves that had fluttereddown from the trees upon her face.

"Wake up, Alice dear!" said her sister."Why, what a long sleep you've had!"

"Oh, I've had such a curious dream!"said Alice, and she told her sister, as wellas she could remember them, all these strangeAdventures of hers that you have just beenreading about; and when she had finished,her sister kissed her, and said "It was acurious dream, dear, certainly: but now runin to your tea; it's getting late." So Alicegot up and ran off, thinking while she ran,as well she might, what a wonderful dreamit had been.

[160]

BUT her sister sat still just as she hadleft her, leaning her head, watching thesetting sun, and thinking of little Alice andall her wonderful Adventures, till she toobegan dreaming after a fashion, and this washer dream:

First, she dreamed of little Alice herself,and once again the tiny hands were claspedupon her knee, and the bright eager eyeswere looking up into hers—she could hearthe very tones of her voice, and see thatqueer little toss of her head to keep backthe wandering hair that would always getinto her eyes—and still as she listened, orseemed to listen, the whole place around herbecame alive with the strange creatures ofher little sister's dream.

The long grass rustled at her feet asthe White Rabbit hurried by—the frightenedMouse splashed his way through the neighbouringpool—she could hear the rattle of theteacups as the March Hare and his friendsshared their never-ending meal, and theshrill voice of the Queen ordering off herunfortunate guests to execution—once morethe pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess'[161]knee, while plates and dishes crashed aroundit—once more the shriek of the Gryphon, thesqueaking of the Lizard's slate-pencil, andthe choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobsof the miserable Mock Turtle.

So she sat on with closed eyes, and halfbelieved herself in Wonderland, though sheknew she had but to open them again, andall would change to dull reality—the grasswould be only rustling in the wind, and thepool rippling to the waving of the reeds—therattling teacups would change to the tinklingsheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries tothe voice of the shepherd boy—and the sneezeof the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, andall the other queer noises, would change (sheknew) to the confused clamour of the busyfarm-yard—while the lowing of the cattle inthe distance would take the place of the MockTurtle's heavy sobs.

Lastly, she pictured to herself how thissame little sister of hers would, in the after-time,be herself a grown woman; and howshe would keep, through all her riper years,the simple and loving heart of her childhood:[162]and how she would gather about her otherlittle children, and make their eyes brightand eager with many a strange tale, perhapseven with the dream of Wonderland of longago: and how she would feel with all theirsimple sorrows, and find a pleasure in alltheir simple joys, remembering her own child-life,and the happy summer days.

THE END

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